Jake had a sleep over last night with his best friend. I am always scared something extreme will happen. I am one of those highly obsessive unlogical thinkers that jumps right to the nth degree. For instance, at his first sleep over with this very same friend I was
convinced he was going to get smothered by him. I know that Jake passes
out and his friend will be up bored and wanting to play.

He
could do something obvious, like draw a moustache with permanent
marker, he could put his hand in a cup of warm water, but no, I go
straight to smothering. Now this child we’ll call him
Ben, (cause that’s his name) has no criminal record and has never
smothered anyone, that I know of. But, I could not sleep.
Instead of celebrating with a raucous romp, I was up every hour
wondering how many pillows are in Ben’s room.

When Jake came back breathing I was thrilled and our day was normal. We went for a swim and Jake stripped down, wrapped a towel around himself and grabbed his junk as he so often does. Nothing out of the ordinary. Well I guess holding his stuff reminded him of the repercussions of the sleepover.

Jake: “Mom do you know what balls are?”

Me: “Sure you have tons of balls, baseballs, tennis balls…”

Jake: “Nope. (drop towel lift penis and squeeze sac) these are balls. See one two, see cause they’re like balls.”

Ryan: “Like the balls on my tongue”
(May that be the only context in which she utters those words to me again.)

Jake:
“No Ryan these are balls, see ball, line, ball (squeezing and pointing
so Ryan can get a good look) Mommy is talking about my balls and you’re
talking about tongues.”

Me: “No, Mommy isn’t talking about your balls, Mommy is just listening.”

Jake: “Mommy, do you know what nuts are?”

I’ll take this over smothering every time. Thanks Ben.