Come visit the new Whole Foods here in Oakland with me! I am telling you, it is INSANE in there. I always experienced Whole Foods as an upscale, schmancy place, but I did not know how far they could take it. Look at their bathrooms:

And you know that multi-stone-looking granite-type countertop material is some eco-friendly recycled stuff, too. I think it may even be a green building; up in the TOP parking lot (that's right, they have more than one parking lot) the walls say things about their use of solar power and their carbon offsets and whatnot.

They have outdone themselves. The store is laid out in a circle. You're led through the seafood and produce section around to the "Bistro." I have no idea what the Bistro does, since there's already a prepared foods section and what looks like it may be a cafe. Then past the meat area, where they DRY AGE THEIR BEEF IN A GLASS CABINET RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. I'm sorry, I got a little excited there. CUSTOM DRY AGED BEEF. For as long as you want, I think. Maybe I am projecting my Dream Beef onto them. I read Jeffrey Steingarten's essay about how wet-aging is cheaper and easier and it's so hard to find dry-aged beef and the ideal beef is dry-aged 6-8 weeks and, well, it's a good thing I don't really eat beef because I would be insufferable about it. Now I have fantasies of ordering beef for them to dry-age and coming to visit it once a week.

Oh, and the produce. The produce! It is not as good as the farmer's market or the Berkeley Bowl. Anywhere that charges some $2.50 for one pesticide-coated pomegranate, in season, is on my shit list. Especially when I saw that right after buying an organic one for about 25 cents at the farmer's market. Please. And could I find organic eggplant? No I could not. But (if you're not actually trying to buy something to eat) they make up for it with the gorgeous layouts. Forests of asparagus:

Walls full of beautifully arranged pre-packaged fruit and vegetable dishes:

What you can't see in that picture - besides the crazy prices - is that when I took it, every single dish was mislabeled. Fun to look at, happy I wasn't buying them.

After you curve past the meat window, you pass by the valley of cheeses, where employees are slicing cheeses for you to taste right there. And, of course, the intimidating chocolate mountain... (more)