Last Sunday, at about 7:30 in the MORNING, Phoebe's at her dad's house, I'm in bed in my usual state of sleep/coma when, suddenly, the phone rings:

JESSICA:        Hello?
TELEMARKETER:   Is Ms. Bern at home?
JESSICA:        Who is this?
TELEMARKETER:   I'm calling on behalf of Chase Bank...
JESSICA:        It's 7:50am on a SUNDAY morning.
TELEMARKETER:   Sorry about that. I'm working on East Coast time.
JESSICA:        Well, I'm sleeping on WEST coast time and I'm not done yet.