Let Your Frugal Flag Fly

To many frugal means cheap. Being cheap is often considered negative. And perhaps it can be a negative quality if it means selfishly hoarding money and being unwilling to share. But frugality in service of living simply, treading lightly, not overwhelming your life with stuff you neither want nor need and as a strategy to ensure that you can support yourself throughout your life seems to me to be a fantastically positive quality.

Not everyone agrees with me though as I've learned from several bloggers.

Money Dummy thinks PF bloggers are doing the world a disservice by using the term "delayed gratification" and suggests instead using "creative gratification." Otherwise, she asks...

Is it any wonder that we have to fight so hard to get our spouses, friends, and relatives to embrace our frugal philosophies?

But, she also realizes that her relentless focus on finances might be making her a boring person so she vows to give it a rest...

Yes, oh yes, folks. The true personal finance guru is deeply into his finances when heâ€™s doing his finances. But once itâ€™s over and heâ€™s decided how to live, how to spend, what to save, and where to go, thatâ€™s it. Heâ€™s done with money, and heâ€™s back into life.

And so, my friends, with that sentiment, I bid you a pleasant good night and go in to chat with my honey. And we will not be talking money.

Penny Nickel at Money and Values worries that she might be missing out on the present by focusing on the future...

I hear that suggestion a lot regarding how much money frugalites and penny-pinchers spend: that we're not enjoying life enough because we're not willing to spend much money.

She invites you to help her answer this question..."Do you struggle with tradeoffs between earning money and being happy and fulfilled?"

And the Miserly Mistress at Beyond Broke thinks she might have lost a friend due to her frugal ways...

I want to be fun, carefree and spontaneous. I want to be liked. But I'm also scared to death of not being financially secure. If she thinks I'm neurotic now, wait until she sees me with Â£7 to my name and over a week until payday. My diary prevents that.

How do we find that balance? How do we keep from turning friends and family off because we've made a choice not to spend as freely as most? How do we handle it when at the end of the day we are secure and our more profligate loved ones are not? Frugal, cheap, thrifty or a spontaneous, live-for-today free spending spirit - what's your style?

Submitted by Maria Niles (view blog

) on Fri, 08/04/2006 - 00:22

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Make Your Own Choices

I read some of the excerpts and what comes to mind first is that a friend or family member who is going to "dump you" or give you grief when you choose not to spend outside your budget and values is no friend at all. We all have to make our own choices around money. Everyone has different incomes, values, debt situations, and long term goals. As such, spending is not "one size fits all".

I agree with Money Dummy that someone who is truly on top of their finances is focused and diligent when tending to them, and then they become part of the background. You follow your plan and the leeway you intentionally put in the plan so you can enjoy life. For some enjoyment is a walk in the woods that costs little. For others it is a Broadway play. Neither is better or worse than the other as long as you keep yourself in financial integrity - and integrity is unique to each person based on their values, desires, and financial situation.

An important point to consider is that some of the richest people in the world are miserable (and thus poor in the more holistic sense) and some of the poorest are most at peace and living a full life. Money can never bring happiness. It can pay for some experiences that could be enjoyable and happy memories but if you aren't OK with who you are on the inside, no amount of money, toys, or "fun" activities is going to fill up the emptiness inside. And, happiness is an inside job.

As for the question posed: ..."Do you struggle with tradeoffs between earning money and being happy and fulfilled?"

Why does it have to be an "either...or"? Why not have both?

Thanks for the roundup and thoughtprovoking posts...

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company
http://www.thepaulagcompany.com
http://www.coaching4lesbians.com

Submitted by paulag01 on Fri, 08/04/2006 - 09:14

I like your re-frame

"Why does it have to be an "either...or"? Why not have both?"

I agree completely - I want both and I want it, in whatever way it is defined and desired, for others.

Thanks for this insightful comment, Paula!

Submitted by Maria Niles on Fri, 08/04/2006 - 10:40

I've become more frugal lately

It's hard to explain, but, I realized that the lack of control that we as a family had over our spending was actually contributing to such a waste: personal waste, waste of time, waste of stuff, waste of energy, and waste of value. My husband and I (but me especially) have developed a new attitude: get it under control. We spend less, we keep track of it, and we make decisions, we do not impulse buy. I cannot work to pay off my creditors and that's what it feels like we were doing. So, we've stopped. I hope I stay this way -- I've made such great strides (but it's like dieting, you have to keep working at financial health).

I chronicle the whole thing in a new website which I've asked to publish here. It's a very exciting way to live, the other way was hurtful.

Submitted by Oceana1225 on Sat, 08/12/2006 - 07:09

While waiting for approval

Let us know what your blog URL is. I'd love to come take a look and read about your journey while you are waiting for review for the BlogHer blogroll.

Congratulations on your progress!

Submitted by Maria Niles on Sat, 08/12/2006 - 07:42