In this week’s Ten Money Questions, we speak with Liza Barry-Kessler of Liza Was Here and LesbianFamily.org. Liza is an attorney, writer, mother and one very busy lesbian. Finances impact family life and Liza’s interview proves that queer money spends exactly the same as straight money. Read on to catch her thoughts about financial freedom and living a rich life. Enjoy!

1. By day, I understand that you are an attorney. Was this career path influenced by earning potential? Does it imply that it can be a challenge to earn a living as a writer and content producer? Also, is there truth to the saying, “Do what you love and the money will follow?”
I had to laugh when I read this question! Nothing could be further from the case for me. I started out law school in a joint program with the Sociology department, and I was going to get a PhD in Sociology and become a professor of Sociology of Law. But I just don’t have the passion about a narrow niche the world that it takes to become an academic.

My parents met in law school, and Mom spent most of her career in a large law firm, which are those lucrative attorney positions. She was the major breadwinner, and my Dad pursued his political dreams. When I was a teenager I saw how draining a top level civil litigation practice could be – my Mom once lost 10 or 15 lbs over the course of a big trial, because she was too busy to eat. I admire her for having taken on that kind of career, for supporting our family through my Dad running for Congress twice, for paying for college for me and my sister. But I knew that I wanted a different kind of life.

I think “do what you love and the money will follow” is sort of true: I absolutely don’t believe in staying with a job or line of work that makes you unhappy, no matter how good the money is, and also in following your dreams.

But not all dreams are lucrative, so depending on what kind of dream you have, it may be necessary to find a creative way to support your passion, whether that’s a day job, a supportive partner, or a modest lifestyle. My partner and I made it work for her to take a year and work only very part-time while she pursued her dream of acting professionally. Eleven months into that year, she had her professional stage debut, and we also learned that not having the kind of daily routine and conversations with other people that you have with a “regular job” was something she missed. Another friend of mine from law school, Phaidra Knight, discovered her passion for rugby in law school. She’s a world class player, and has found a job that has provides the flexibility to let her play for the US Women’s national team.

2. What is your most significant memory about money?
When I was about 7, maybe 8, we took a family trip to New Orleans. I pestered my Mom for a mardi gras mask, the kind on a stick, with green and purple ribbons and feathers. She told me I could have 1 souvenir for the trip, and was I absolutely sure this was what I wanted? I insisted it was. The next day, I saw the most beautiful book of antebellum South paper dolls, but Mom said no, I had my one souvenir. I was so disappointed. But I did learn to hold off on impulse decisions, at least where the purchase is the kind of thing where you only get one.

3. What is your worst habit around finances?
Starbucks Grande Skim Latte and a sour cream donut. That’s also my worst habit around food.

4. Does money buy happiness?
No. Your own attitude about life and the close relationships you have, whether with friends or with family, are the things that most determine happiness.

5. In your post, Silly Internet Quizzes, you answered yes to: Have you ever given money to a beggar? What opinions do you have about poverty and homelessness?
I’m a big ole liberal. I think that poverty and homelessness are mostly caused by a combination of inadequate wages at the low end of the spectrum, inadequate health care being available, and a reduction in the proportion of jobs don’t require a lot of education but can still support a family.

I also think that those of us who have more resources and skills have a moral obligation to give back. Everyone doesn’t necessarily have to choose poverty or homelessness as the issue or area to which they give back – the arts, environmental issues, GLBT civil rights, reproductive freedom, civil rights and civil liberties, etc, all are important issue areas.

Everyone’s “giving back” will look different – time and money and leadership are all valuable ways to make a difference. As long as you vote. Every US citizen over 18 who is eligible to vote is morally obligated to vote, and politicians are not all the same. If you don’t vote, I have no patience with you.

6. In the same post, you talk about paying off your student loans, credit card debt and mortgage if you won the lottery. How has debt impacted your life?
I hate being in debt. It causes so much stress, it keeps me from being able to fully enjoy my salary, and being free to explore less lucrative professional options. So much of my income goes to debt management – here I mean my student loans in particular. But realistically, getting rid of my consumer debt would help too. But my student loans are roughly 10 times my consumer debt – they’re what feels seriously burdensome.

7. Do you and your partner, Jill see eye-to-eye on money?
We don’t. She is more careful and conservative than I am on a day to day basis. But I know more about investing, retirement, college savings, the sort of “fun” side of money. I think we balance each other pretty well.

8. You wrote in your What the Bleep Do We Know post, that you were feeling stressed about money and that you wanted to double your household income. Is financial freedom about how much you make or how you spend it?
To me, the phrase “financial freedom” has a sense of flow about it, not a place you could get, so I think both income and spending are important. Freedom doesn’t necessarily mean being freely irresponsible, but it does imply that you can spend on the things you choose, including occasional frivolous impulses.

9. What is the most important lesson you hope to teach your son, Noah about money someday?
I’d like to teach him the value of saving and investing over the long haul. I hope that when he’s somewhere between maybe 8-11, we’ll be able to join an investment club with other families, where the kids participate equally in analyzing stocks and making buying and selling decisions. The 2.5 years I spent in a NAIC investment club were the most educational experience I’ve ever had about money, and they totally changed the way that I manage retirement and college savings.

10. If you could buy one thing right now what would it be?
I assume this question means something I’m not currently planning to buy, like groceries.

One of the new hybrid SUVs. I haven’t test-driven any of them, so I can’t say which one for sure, but probably either the Toyota Highlander or the Saturn Vue. But I’m probably another 2 years or so from replacing my car.

-------------
Read other interviews in Nina’s Ten Money Questions series at Queercents including this week’s installment with Erin Hamilton (Carol Burnett’s talented and musical daughter).