I read an interesting story on Delcotimes.com
that showed how long most love affairs with our jobs last--two measly years.

Why do we have such an abysmal record of retention? Or should this question be phrased another way: Why do companies have such an abysmal record of keeping us?

Right, always blaming the other party--I know.

A survey of 840,000 US and UK employees by Kenexa, a hiring and retention solutions company, found:

...employee satisfaction levels begin declining from the sixth through the 18th month, before almost tanking by the end of year two [of employment].

"Usually employees hit bottom in the three to five-year range," said Jeffrey Saltzman, Kenexa’s New York practice leader, who helped organize the survey. "Some serious questioning begins to happen."

What causes this questioning? Do we get bored? Do we crave change? Do we become disillusioned with the man, er...company that we thought we knew so well?

Reading this I couldn't help but think that jobs are not dissimilar to marriages. They have honeymoon periods, the longer we remain in them the less likely we are to get out of them, and remaining passionate about them takes work--hard work. Are people who have a tough time maintaining relationships equally doomed to struggle with holding down jobs?

I thought of the average tenure I've spent at previous jobs: 1-2 years. Working for myself I've had one of my longest stints yet. Am I destined to stay "single" all my life?

The study concludes that most of us will fall out of love with our jobs. It's a natural outcome, but it's kind of sad, too. And it's alarming: How realistic is it to hop to new gigs the moment we become disenchanted? Do we need to become bitter and crusty in order to keep our place in the corporate hierarchy? Do we need to stay in unhealthy and unhappy marriages?

I can't help but think that some of the common practices for maintaining our relationships would apply to maintaining our positive feelings about our jobs.

1. Spice up the relationship

According to the Kenexa survey,

...common practices among employers who have high early retention rates are excellent benefits packages, salary compensation and training...

Getting an offer and a signing bonus is a heady experience. We feel wanted! Bennies are like bling: we wear them for a while, our friends oooh and ahhh, but eventually these novelties tarnish, and employees need more investment. Ongoing salary reviews and training shows that you, as the employer, are in it for the long term.

2. Learn to not expect the moon of your job

Of course no good relationship is held together by one party alone--it takes two to tango. And a common fault of the chronic job hopper is the omnipresent question, What's in it for me?, and the unrealistic search for the ever-elusive bigger and better gig.

For some, the whiplash resulting from this continual searching makes one wonder, "Is it me? Am I part of the problem?" To these people I say, welcome to adulthood, you are now ready to explore the joys of long-term relationships. You are ready to learn to love your lot by learning to make it your own. Rather than "settling" for anything you are setting roots, growing an herb garden, building a fire pit out back. Learning to be comfortable where you are.

According to the Kenexa survey:

longer-term employees typically have higher levels of satisfaction, with 66 percent of employees in year 16, and 62 percent of those who have worked 20 or more years with a company indicating higher engagement.

I used to view job veterans (anyone who had been with any company over three years) like old farty married people. I assumed, they must be so BORED. Now that I am married (to a life partner and, occupationally, to my own company) I see the work involved in lowering the drama, in leveraging the partnership to enable a better life, and in not assuming that if your life ain't all that great it's your partner's fault.

Similarly, if your job isn't all that great, don't automatically default to your boss or company as the culprit. You may be--dare I say it--a high-maintenance type. In which case, do your company a favor and find another outlet for expending the energy you spend complaining, or leave and save the company the energy you are sapping from it.

But the caveat--isn't there always a caveat?--is that some old, farty couples really are old and farty. They won't budge from their relationship because they've become co-dependent on each other. This can happen with people and jobs, too. Some relationships are just bad relationships, and spending years in them doesn't justify staying in them.

3. Show your hired ones that you appreciate them

The single most frightening thing my husband ever said to me was about a year into our relationship, when I asked him why he didn't come to my apartment bearing gifts anymore.

"I have you now," he said. "I don't need to try any longer."

He was joking...sort of. The point is, it's natural to lessen the intensity as we become more comfortable in relationships. If I still received overwrought sonnets in my email box everyday I would ask my husband to stop. Still, that does not mean that we don't want to feel valued by our partners.

The same goes for employees. Companies need to continually show appreciation. I don't know about you but I'm easy: a simple "I love you" from my husband does the trick for me; though I wouldn't recommend you saying that to your employee. "Great job." Or, "thank you for all of your hard work," will suffice.

4. Communication, communication, communication.

I say this as a patently infamous non-communicator. I often look at my husband quizzically, as if to say, "You mean you couldn't INTUIT what I just wanted? Gimme a damn foot rub!" Likewise some employees don't speak up about what they need to feel informed, or to do a job adequately.

I've had, ohhhhhh, exactly ONE boss with the gift of clairvoyance, who knew exactly what I needed, though I don't imagine these supernatural individuals are easy to come by. If your boss gravitates toward plain, human intelligence, you might consider being clearer about what you need from your job: "I need clearer instructions." "I need to know what you are expecting the outcome to be." "I need you to know that I've been feeling a bit in the dark about this project; I'd like to better understand why we are moving in this direction."

Now, for the caveat: Companies ain't democracies. If you ask for heightened communication and don't get it, you are not OWED it.

Recently a friend of mine was perturbed because she wasn't invited to attend a fairly high-level meeting at her company. She felt she deserved to be there and asked why she wasn't included. The answer wasn't to her liking; her boss seemed fairly evasive but assured her that it wasn't a reflection on her or her performance.

While I don't believe my friend should be kept in the dark about why she was not included in this meeting, I don't believe that her boss owes her more information. He gave her what he could, or possibly all that he was authorized to offer up. At the end of the day, companies are ecosystems with their own political structures, and by agreeing to work at that company you implicitly agree to these structures.

And if you don't like them, well...You know the drill.

Jory Des Jardins also blogs at Pause, and Fast Company Experts Blog.