If you are in need of a good chuckle, I highly recommend watching the online ad for the new Philip Norelco product for men, Bodygroomer. It is at the utterly appropriate URL, www.shaveeverywhere.com. It features the best use of kiwis, peaches, carrots, and rulers that I have seen in a long time. Maybe ever. (But don’t watch it at work if you have a sensitive work environment.)

As Mark Morford wrote in SFGate about the Bodygroom ad’s hilariously “suave” sales dude:

...straight out, that the Bodygroom will "help make your dick look bigger." This is a theme and a key selling point. He will also tell you, with a (winking) straight face, that the Bodygroom is "the convenient, easy, gentle way to make your genitals bloom." And if you ask him if women really prefer a well-groomed man, he will snicker in disbelief and barely be able to contain his laughter before composing himself, looking straight at the camera and deadpanning, "Yes, yes they do."

In fact, the opening introduction alone addresses your average American frat guy's naggingly homophobic concerns right from the start. Gary even admits to it himself: "Let me tell you, this whole issue [of genital grooming] used to make me quite uncomfortable. But now, with a hair-free back, well-groomed shoulders and an extra optical inch on my cock, let's just say life has gotten pretty darn cozy."

The Bodygroomer fascinates me because it pressures men to live up to a particular social standard that often takes a lot of time to achieve, as many men are not naturally smooth or hairless. It’s the same sort of sell that we women have been dealing with for ages now. Of course, the ad is a bit more clever than most women’s beauty products, but it still is designed to pray on human insecurities and fears. I don’t know that using the same make people-feel-like-crap-about-their-appearance-to-boost-the-corporate-bottom-line is really an overall improvement to society (an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind and all that), but the “optical inch” sure cracks me up. What a concept!

As I was discussing this ad campaign with my husband (he finds it gut-bustingly funny), I realized that if people distinguish themselves from other mere animals by our grooming habits, than it is maybe it is a sign of increasing civilization that both genders are spending more time removing our fur. (A friend who is a surgeon confirmed this trend, saying “you'd be surprised how many of the younger guys come in all trimmed. Still not as many as women, but a decent amount of them.”) Or does the time that we increasingly dedicate to trimming pubic hairs and other beauty rituals that could be used for learning slightly more useful things or watching TV (other traits that seems to separate human from beast) mean that we are actually less civilized?

I don’t know, but I sure have wasted a lot of time watching the ad man flash his carrots and kiwis at me, and what does that say about me?

Suzanne also ponders the mysteries of good grooming at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

Related Posts:

• Make Your Nipples Ripe for Plucking!
• Oh Teach Me, Wise John Stossel (Gag)
• Why are Husbandless Women Still Considered News?

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