Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Me To Be A Better Mom. And This Is Good For Me How?
by Her Bad Mother

So Gwyneth Paltrow has launched a new website. Which, I suppose, is better than launching yet another celebrity fashion line or celebrity perfume or whatever, but still - I'm finding it hard to feel entirely positive about this.

It's worth asking, of course, what's there to not be positive about? It's a website devoted to "nourish(ing) the inner aspect." I don't what that means, exactly - it seems to have something to do with taking care of one's self, inside and out - but it sounds good. The name of the site - GOOP - doesn't sound so good (and no, I have no idea what it means), but I could overlook that. I could overlook that, that is, the whole site didn't irritate my petty mommy soul to its very core.

This is just me and my issues, of course, but it does really bug me to have a super-wealthy celebrity mom preach good mental and physical health at me. It's one thing for Gwyneth to love exercise and good food and "clean spaces" and to preach the health and wellbeing benefits of these things (which, duh, but I digress) - Gwyneth, after all, has access to private chefs and housecleaners and personal trainers and nannies. It's quite another for the average mom. Surrounding oneself with good things - and yes, I am invoking Martha Stewart here; Gwyneth looks to be aspiring to be a wellness-oriented Martha, without the rap sheet - is desirable, obviously, and I've no doubt about the health benefits, but please: I'm functioning on no sleep and am very, very lucky if I can get matching socks on my preschooler and pick stray Cheerios up off the floor, never mind keep fresh flowers around and set aside an hour in the morning for yoga and organic fruitshakes. I mean, it'd be nice, but it ain't gonna happen and I get depressed just thinking about it.

There were some articles and blog posts late this summer about growing rates of eating disorders among pregnant women - 'pregorexia' was the term being bandied about - and the commentary largely focused on the influence of the current wave of celebrity mommies, who tend to go through pregnancy looking like stick insects that swallowed some large round berries and who brag about losing baby weight in about three days. I'm not going to debate that issue here - I think that there's much, much more to eating disorders, whether they occur in pregnancy or otherwise, than celebrity-emulation - but there is, I think, a problematic undercurrent here that is common to both partum and post-partum body image and partum and post-partum self-image more generally, and that has a potentially serious effect upon maternal mental health. I'm bombarded by media images of celebrity mothers who have it all and do it all; I'm surrounded by magazines that feature cover-mothers who are well-scrubbed and well-dressed and well-equipped to attend to their well-scrubbed children in their well-scrubbed homes and who have lots to say about the benefits of eating organic and doing yoga and wearing hemp and yadda yadda whatever. I'm surrounded by it and some days? Especially days that I haven't slept or showered or changed my clothes? It really gets me down. So, this whole Gwyneth-gone-Martha-for-moms thing? HATE.

But maybe that's just the sleep deprivation talking. Maybe once I've had some sleep I'll be able to look at GOOP and go, oh, GOOD! Gwyneth has some advice for me! HURRAH!

Or not.

 

Catherine blogs at Her Bad Mother and really, seriously, needs some sleep.

Submitted by Her Bad Mother (view blog) on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 20:12

Comments

 

It's been said before, but

It's been said before, but I'll say it again: SHUT UP, GWYNETH. Her self-righteous tone never wins any points with me.

 

SJ also writes at I, Asshole.

Submitted by Super Jive on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 19:35
 

Ignore the celebrities

It's not always easy, because they have such a high profile and stare at us from EVERYWHERE, but generaly speaking, I do my best to pretend they don't exist. 

---

I blog at MomGrind

I manage my kids' activities at UpToUs

Submitted by Vered on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 20:21
 

I don't mind tips on being

I don't mind tips on being healthier or a better mom but I think Gwen is not  the everyday mom.  The power that is blogging helped me find more moms that felt/did the same things I did-didn't take a shower and ate the snickers bar instead of the microbiotic apple.  And those I learned from have the same obstacles I do.  Sorry Gwen I have to call GOOP the anti-mommyblog.

~Susan                                                                                                                   

http://lilmomthatcould.com/

Submitted by lilmommythatcould on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 04:01
 

Who wants that?

I look at this well-designed webbsite and get that "organic cotton yoga outfit, uncluttered spaces, fresh figs for lunch?" kind of feeling and I want no part of it.

I love the messiness of everyday life.  The surprises, the pace, the chaos that comes from having 3 active kids and flying by the seat of my pants on most days.  That is what will make my old age rich.  

I always feel like women who have these immaculate and pampered lives may get pedicures more often than I do, but they miss out on the unique feeling of spending the night with a little "hot wheels" car grinding into your hip, or other indignities mothers everywhere suffer with humor and grace.

Viva Chaos!

http://nakedanarchists.wordpress.com

Submitted by nakedanarchists on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 06:55
 

AMEN!

I saw Gwenyth's interview on Oprah and took note of the fact that yes, she works out and looks great, but they showed a clip of her in her gym- which is it's own studio in her BACK YARD.

I think her intentions are good but her advice is definately not for the masses. I went to GOOP to see if there was a place to diplomatically point this out but alas, there is no room for comments. Wonder if that's intentional?  

Submitted by Binkytown on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 11:01
 

GOOP

I can't say enough times that there is no point comparing yourself to "celebrities". I had a girlfriend who was pregnant at the same time as Catherine Zeta Jones and used to beat herself up for not losing the baby weight at the same rate. Remember, there is one of us usually caring for a bunch of people.  "Celebrities" have a bunch of people there to take care of one.  No jealousy, just the facts. 

Kate

I blog at http://www.aftercancernowwhat.owrdpress.com

Submitted by aftercancer on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 12:35
 

Tell me again...why are

Tell me again...why are celebrities qualified to be spokespeople to the masses?  With very few exceptions (folks who've actually got qualifications and experience beyond being pretty and having access to resources the rest of us don't), I don't want to hear their views on politics, and I don't want to hear their views on motherhood.

They won't go away until we start ignoring them.  Fat chance that's ever going to happen though. 

mothergoosemouse

Submitted by mothergoosemouse on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 16:27
 

They are spokespeople because we listen...

It's a scary concept, no?

For an idea of how scary it can get (oh, and a pretty good laugh).  One woman was scared by this idea, and intrigued, and started a project - for a whole year she is living every assignment/commandment/advisement Oprah gives.

She has a blog, of course!  And it's here

www.livingoprah.com

And I'm really,really enjoying it.

Submitted by kazari on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 22:33
 

Gotta Love It!

I always love it when a woman with the ability to have just about everything tells me what I need to do to be like her.  As soon as someone's willing to pay for my chef, trainer, nanny, housekeeper, bookkeeper, personal shopper, etc, I'll listen!

~Mia.

My blog is General Hysteria

Submitted by MiaHysteria on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 18:04
 

Why the hating??

So maybe she has access to certain things that some parts of her life a lil easier than ours.  Good for her!  She also has certain aspects that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

All she is doing here is sharing some of the knowledge she has gained over the past few years as a mom and wife... something that a lot of us have in common.  Feel free to ignore it if you don't agree with it.  No need to hate on it.

It is amazing what cleaning up the clutter and mess, along with some pretty flowers and a few minutes of meditation would do for your energy levels at home.  Basic Feng Shui.  

Yes it requires some effort.  And that that can be beyond hard when you are exhausted, burnt out and have little support.  Nobody says you have to be superwoman and do it everyday.  But it feels good when I do it.

Submitted by trdonaghy on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 23:25
 

maybe GOOP is her next

maybe GOOP is her next baby's name?

Submitted by writeonyo on Sun, 09/28/2008 - 18:29
 

It's Just Chatter

 

Maryan Pelland
online at www.demystifyingdigital.com/blogs/DigitalGrandparent
and www.womendaybyday.com

 I hear all the frustration in these posts - Gwenyth lecturing via blog makes me feel the same way I do when Madonna or Billy Crystal or whats-his-name the manatee-loving-third rock actor gets a children's book published when there are hundreds and hundreds of talented writers who can't get a project looked at by publishers, because they don't have Hollywood platforms. It's not what you know, it's who you, er, know...

On the other hand, social media, and journalism of the masses (blogging, for example) has given a fairly loud voice to all of us. I make my living that way. And if we all post so vociferously here at blogher, so, logically, can Gwenyth. We can take her or leave her while we defend her right to be a pompas ass.

mkp

Submitted by Maryan Pelland on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 08:35
 

Gwenyth isn't the best writer on the
internet, is she?

She could take a few lessons from Her Bad Mother. 

Angiewww.alladither.com

and

www.HalfAssedKitchen.com 

Submitted by alladither on Fri, 10/03/2008 - 05:40
 

Never been preggers but...

I don't have kids but looking and <i>being</i> like Gwyneth Paltrow is also not achievable for ordinary women who are childless. 

~~there's wanderlust in my soul, pep in my step, and lotsa love for the big plan called Life~~

Submitted by luiyuming on Fri, 11/07/2008 - 22:43
 

Leave Hate Out of Your Life

I'm not a big fan of the celebrity culture but I don't get all the negative talk about another woman trying to say something constructive.

Yes, we all lead different lives and we do tend to have the shared experience of being really busy (well I don't know anyone who isn't and all the posts here are from busy women) but why bother being negative?

So what if what a blogger (celebrity or not) is talking crap or not - why have a go at them? How about instead finding something positive to say about it?

I have a friend who's great at keeping a clean, tidy house with a bunch of flowers - she's survived breast cancer and has decided living that way makes her feel better so she makes it happen.

I'd like to live in a tidy place with flowers but it only happens sometimes and that's fine. I do exercise regularly and that's for me and my family - healthy exercising and eating reduces cancer and heart illness risks by 85% and I'm too well loved not to do it.

Maybe having a celebrity say the same thing will encourage even one other mother to put herself first sometimes so the family benefits from it? Maybe it isn't for everyone to hear this message from her but so what? Find something good to say and say it with good grace, leave hate out of your life.

Kind regards,

Belinda

Great Earring Holders - great presents and no more messy jewelry tangles!

Submitted by Creatively Belle on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 16:55
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