The holiday season is in full force - a time that, at least in theory, should be filled with joy and happiness. But what if you find yourself having feelings that are far from those of joy and happiness? Feelings of hopelessness, agitation, guilt and even lifelessness?

Just last week I broke out my heavy scarf, and today I realized I will soon need thermals under my jeans. My friends, Winter is on its way.The rhythm of the natural word effects our physical, emotional, and spiritual lives. We show a little skin in the Summer, and hibernate in the Winter. We fall in love during Spring fever, and feel full of gratitude in the Fall. Each sacred season brings us blessing and challenges -- mind, body, and soul -- and isn't it great to have wise friends along for the journey?

I've been toying with happiness lately, actually all my life, I guess. Perhaps we all search for that blue bird of happiness, hoping happiness will settle in our spirit mystically. But as someone who struggles with depression, and I don't mean simple, everyday blues, I sometimes go on journeys into self, screaming for answers, whispering, and humming too. I think half of me is content more than half of the time, but the other half must be whipped into bliss.

There is a difference between feeling depressed, and being clinically depressed. We all feel depressed from time to time. But, how do we know when our feelings of anxiety or sadness, has crossed into something more serious? That's what Depression Screening is all about, and October is Depression Screening Month. Maybe it's you, or someone you know...But, awareness is the first step in recovery.

My inner literary world was knocked off kilter this weekend when L.M. Montgomery's granddaughter revealed that Montgomery did not die from heart failure as was long reported. She committed suicide. Intentional drug overdose. There was a letter asking for forgiveness. L.M. Montgomery's battle with depression is not a secret, it's in her published journals, but I've always felt a sense of happiness that it didn't take her completely. That it had never conquered her. The long revealed truth has knocked that aside and left me angry and sad. I'm not angry because the truth was hidden for so long or because I was lead to believe a lie. I'm angry because depression, that bastard, won. I'm saddened for the same reason.

Incense --- for some of us it conjures up memories of dorm rooms with towels wedged to the bottom of the door. (Insert innocent look.) For many others it recalls the scents during worship. Incense figures prominently in many world religions, and a fine description of its history can be found here.

Is politics making you stressed? Anxious? Depressed? Some days are worse than others for me. Today was particularly bad, especially with that stupid, fear mongering, "scare us into calling our senators" ad I've been seeing all day. I've written about this FISA issue so much already, it makes me want to just SCREAM! I guess that makes me a wee-bit stressed? Do you ever want to scream at your television? Here is a video clip of the FISA ad with the "truth" pointed out...

What's up in health news? Well, there are new studies on living to be 100, and the health risks of diet soda. It also seems that doctors aren't addressing the problem of depression with patients suffering with rheumatoid arthritis. Do you hope to live to be 100?

I think we probably have all suffered from some degree of emotional health issues in our lives. Whenever someone talks to me about feeling depressed or anxious, the first thing I say to them is...you are not alone. We've all been there in some way or another. I also think that acknowledging you have a problem is half the battle. And that doesn't make you "insane" or "crazy". Really...How many "crazy" people realize they're crazy? I think the most sane thing a person can do is admit they are feeling depressed or anxious, and reach out for help.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ---Leo Buscaglia For some of us, the holiday season can be the spiritual equivalent of crawling through broken glass. If your holiday is up-tempo, it may be easy to miss the signs in people around you that say they are having it rough. Everywhere are the songs of family, of togetherness, of "no place like home for the holidays” of people having their “holly jolly Christmas” or gathering around the Thanksgiving table to full gathering of family eating a bird and fixings designed by Norman Rockwell. The TV commercials show perfectly intact nuclear families. TV special movies are about families rallying at the last minute to become whole again, to reunite, to become the perfect family once again. They are full of the successful reconciliations of which some of us only dream. No one is left divorcing or divorced – dying or ill or mourning – hurting or suffering for any reason. During Thanksgiving/Hannukah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/New Years, America suddenly creates images of herself as a combination of the Cosby family, Beaver Cleaver’s family, and the Brady bunch -- all perfect and smiling as they deck the halls, light the menorah, carve the bird or sing Auld Lang Syne. No problem is so gigantic that it cannot be solved in a one hour special.

From the moment I realized I was pregnant right up to this very moment I have loved being a mother. I have not always liked it, but I have loved it. My pregnancy was easy: no morning sickness, no weird cravings. (I did gain 50 lbs because I took pregnancy as a sign to have carte blanch at every Mexican restaurant this side of the state.) For the most part, though, being pregnant was the best I've felt in my life.

I’ve written a lot before about my bouts with depression and eating disorders . I have spent a lot of my adult life trying to understand the depression and anxiety of my childhood and learning how to stave it off when it knocks at the door now.