As we all know, January is not only the month where people make (and break) resolutions, it’s the month when people resolve to fix everything that went wrong over the holidays.

One would think that being over 40 would mean having your new partner meet the family is something you could avoid, right? After all, doesn’t being a so-called mature adult, having kids old enough to drive, and having a civil relationship with your ex and his new wife mean you don’t have to manage family/new partner meet-ups? Ever?Apparently not.Bottom line is family is family and if they are at all close with you, they are going to have an opinion about who you are dating. And want to share it. As they will.

It is difficult to date more than one person at a time if a) you already have a fairly full schedule and b) people you date aren't just No, No, No. I mean, if every date you went on was a total bust, then you'd just rotate through, right? But if you're interested in the person you are seeing, then you're cultivating that relationship while going on other first dates, and this is kinda hurting my head.

Some friends and I were discussing sex and relationships the other day and one of them brought up an interesting premise. She thought that most people could be divided into two types: thrill-seekers, and comfort-seekers, and that those impulses drove their sex and relationships behavior.

Nothing says "I love you" like a pumpkin. What? Why are you looking at me that way? Surely you've experienced this... I'm not talking about the pumpkin as an aphrodisiac, though I could be. Feng Shui followers use calabash to make talismans. It harmonizes relations between parents and children, rehabilitates lost passion in married people and is considered as a protective and medicinal remedy. I'm talking about the pumpkin as a gift of love...

Let’s see, a couple of years ago there was the about to be divorced friend of a friend who had dinner with me one evening, proclaimed his interest in doing all sorts of things together in the future, and then didn't email or call; behaviors, that, at the time left me totally shocked (I thought that if someone said they wanted to see you and then changed their mind, they’d pass that knowledge on.)

This past week, I gave a talk at Arse Electronika, the conference about sex and technology and culture with my friend Viviane on blogging, transparency, authenticity and identity. Viviane is my friend I met through reading sex and relationship blogs right after my divorce; once we met in person we became fast friends and use social media, email and the telephone to stay connected.

In every part of the blogosphere, new voices arrive, and old voices go. Sometimes, they are the same people moving to new blogs(and new identities), other times they are new bloggers who command a wider audience as if they’ve suddenly found their voice, or their topic (and sometimes they have).

I am in love. With a person I plan to live with. Who is an amazing partner and a wonderful friend. Whom I think I’d like to grow old with, and with whom I dream of creating a merry band of progressive family and friends. But there is no way, much as I want to show A how I love him that I’m eager to get married again. Been there. Done that. Got the divorce, the settlement, and the resolution not to do it again. “There is no way I ever want to get married again,” I tell my friends. “No reason to.”

Recently someone asked if I've taken the initiative and asked any guys out. Because then I could start dating sooner. Disregarding the fact that my slow return to dating new people was a bit more complicated than availability, and that in L.A. I could throw a virtual rock and get a date, the comment did get me to thinking about first moves.First Moves: I've made them. Quite a bit, actually, but not since I moved to L.A. and read one too many dating books.

Historically speaking, one of my big must-haves when I'm dating is that it's really important to me to date someone who has their own interests besides The Relationship. I dated a lot of guys who didn't have their own things, so it was a pressure on me because I have a lot of things, you know? I'm all for including my significant other and doing things together whenever possible, but if they've got nothing of their own it can be smothering and pressure-filled not-fun.

I've been thinking about writing on this topic for a while.  I'm over 50 and single and have a lot of friends in the same boat.  And what I've found is that dating over 50 is just insane!  What I thought I knew --and mastered fairly well in my younger years -- doesn't seem to translate into the dating scene of today.  So what do you do when you're single and want to meet someone interesting and emotionally available?  Or is that really an option for women in midlife?