According to my learnings, which include Wikipedia, other opinionated mothers I know, and four lovingly-wasted years as a budding art historian, dolls are possibly the oldest toy in the world. They have been found in the children’s graves dating back thousands of years, and were often made of wood or pottery. I am guessing that these are just the ones that actually survive the ravages of time. I can just see a caring Grecian mother surprising her daughter by whipping a wooden doll out of her toga. Mother: Here, Octavia, something for you to do between hauling giant buckets of water and weaving cloth. Octavia: Oh, thank you mother. AGGH! The splinters! IT BURNS! Mother: Heh heh. That’ll teach her to put a toga pin on my milking stool. So I’m guessing that there were cuddly cloth dollies for everyday use. Lucky for us, little girls today don’t have to worry about dollies being cute and cuddly, because when I see dolls now the words that come to mind are “pointy” and “transvestite.” I’m not dogging this trend, though. I’ve gotten some of my best fashion advice from transvestites.