BlogHer blogs

Paula Abdul's Pain Journey and Others Speak Out

2008-08-30T03:58:37-05:00

It's 5:36 a.m., and I'm still up--again. I need to be at the
doctor's in less than 3 1/2 hours, why bother with any sleep now? (Says
my mind.)

NO! I will not allow this horrible insomnia take
over my life, rendering me useless and stupid the next day, with much
worse pain to deal with. I chose not to take a sleeping pill the doc
gave me a few samples of, as I didn't want to sleep past the doc
offices before noon only-- Friday hours.

I need the PPD test
that was given for work yesterday, and needs to be checked and give me
a letter stating it is negative. Which it is. The PPD test is for
Tuberculosis and any health care worker should have it. Just a little
bubble put by needle, just barely under your skin and wait 3 days for
any sign of swelling, a bump over the injection site, or redness.

I
really don't think that I am the only one up in the world of
Blogosphere; that odd time of night is coming to a close, and the sun
is rising very soon. Circadian rhythm kicks in and well, you know.

I have an odd feeling that I have just a 'few' fellow posters out there doing the same thing.

Up all night..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......again.

"The Only Constant in Life....is Change."

Posted by
Shauna

at
Friday, August 29, 2008

Weight Loss Exercise Programs

2008-08-30T03:20:04-05:00

Normal
0

When designing their weight loss exercise
programs, people want to know the best exercise for weight loss.
Surprisingly, the exercise that burns the most calories is not always the best
exercise for weight loss. Sure, it’s important to burn calories, and we’ll tell
you which exercises burn the most calories in just a moment. But it’s also
important to burn fat.

The best weight loss exercises are slow, aerobic, long
duration exercises. They also involve most of the major muscle groups. These
are the exercises that will burn fat. They include exercises like walking,
jogging, running, cycling, swimming, and elliptical trainer workouts. These
exercises burn more fat than exercises that involve short spurts of activity
followed by periods of rest, such as volleyball, tennis, racquetball,
basketball, Frisbee, and golf. Those exercises will burn calories and can be
included in weight loss exercise programs. They just don’t burn fat like the
other exercises we listed do.

The key to burning fat is to exercise for a longer period of
time. For the first 20 – 30 minutes of a work out, your body burns
carbohydrates. Now, those are calories, so that will help you lose weight. But
after 20 – 30 minutes, your body starts to burn fat. That will help you lose
pounds and inches quickly.

In addition to the slow, aerobic, long duration types of
exercise, strength training or weight lifting should be added to weight loss exercise
programs. This will build muscle, and muscle burns more calories than
fat. Muscle will burn more calories all the time, even when you are sleeping,
not just while you are exercising.

It is also a good idea to choose several activities to vary
your routine. After a while, your body becomes accustomed to a specific type of
exercise, and as your muscles adapt, your body will use fewer calories. Good
weight loss exercise programs include variety. That helps prevent boredom, as
well. For more details http://www.soundbodytrainer.com/

Is The Media To Blame For Over Hyping Gardasil? It Seems So.

2008-08-30T02:56:12-05:00

A new question surrounding Merck's HPV vaccine. Is the media to blame for over hyping Gardasil? Personally, I think there is enough blame to go around for everyone here. But, the latest evidence is pointing to the news media sensationalizing the HPV and cervical cancer link. Why am I not surprized? Is there anything the news media doesn't over-hype and sensationalize these days?

From The New York Times...

Merck’s teen girl vaccine Gardasil has been under fire of late, with everyone from The New England Journal of Medicine to The New York Times questioning whether there is sufficient evidence to justify the widespread use of vaccines against cervical cancer.

“I think the company did a very effective job of glossing over these questions in its marketing campaign and convincing the public that this vaccine would indeed prevent cervical cancer,'’ said Dr. Timothy Johnson, ABC’s medical editor, last week.

Now, a pro-business media watchdog group has a new take on the issue. The hype about Gardasil isn’t the result of over-the-top marketing by Merck, it claims, but is instead the result of heavy promotion by the American news media.

. . .

The report cites several examples, including:

ABC’s Charles Gibson told viewers “this breakthrough couldn’t come soon enough,” on the June 8, 2006 “World News Tonight.”

NBC’s Brian Williams called Gardasil a “triumph in science and medicine” on June 8, 2006. He referred to Gardasil as “the first vaccine to prevent cancer” on Dec. 28, 2006, and urged parents to get their children vaccinated in many “Today” appearances.

NBC’s “Today” show co-host Meredith Vieira declared that it “could save your teenager’s life some day” on Sept. 15, 2006. She also told viewers Gardasil was one of the three vaccines kids “need.” Dr. Nancy Snyderman, NBC’s chief medical editor, downplayed criticism of the expense of Gardasil, calling the $360 cost “the best investment you can make.”

For “The Early Show” on CBS, Dr. Emily Senay said Jan. 1, 2007, that the “top medical breakthrough [of 2006] has to be the cancer vaccine for cervical cancer, Gardasil.”

The report also says The New York Times “glowingly profiled Gardasil” in an August 2006 story about the history of the vaccine.

Since then, the media tide has certainly turned against Gardasil, due in large part because there is simply more available information about its use.

It was just earlier this month, that I took another look at the safety issues surrounding Gardasil. So what do we know? We now know that we can't trust Merck to give us the truth, because they are making bazillions off of Gardasil. And, we can't trust the FDA, because, let's face it, we can't trust them about anything. We can't trust the CDC for the same reasons we can't trust the FDA. And, now we know, that we can't even trust our local and national news anchors. What is the world coming to?

Who can we trust when it comes to Gardasil?

Well. It seems like nobody.

I suggest you trust yourself, and your own intuition. Get the facts, talk to your teen, and make an informed decision about whether the benefits of this vaccine outweigh the risk to your child. Make sure you talk to them about safe sex, and the importance of routine PAP tests too.

Don't let fear dictate your decision. The majority of HPV viruses, will resolve completely on their own, often without you even knowing you had it. And, with or without the HPV vaccine, the best way to prevent cervical cancer, remains regular exams and PAP testing.

So, that's my rant. Here is some of what other women bloggers are saying.

From Kandylini...

The bad news about GARDASIL vaccine keeps getting worse and it was only a matter of time before government health officials promoted an “epidemic” to deflect attention from GARDASIL risks and create an excuse to point accusing fingers at parents who decline to give their children one or more of the 16 federally promoted vaccines. They did the same thing in 1985, when publicity about DPT vaccine reactions prompted officials at the CDC and American Academy of Pediatrics to allege there were whooping cough epidemics in eight states due to parents rejecting DPT. Then as now, the cases of disease were divided between vaccinated and unvaccinated children and adults, which is hardly big news.

The government’s dire warnings came late last week after newspaper articles examined the muscle that Merck used to get GARDASIL fast tracked and licensed, followed by an aggressive multi-media advertising and lobbying campaign targeting teenage girls which has already netted the big pharmaceutical company more than $1.5 billion in sales worldwide.

From Nurse Ratched...

I repeat: I have read the FDA’s response to all of this, and it is no more compelling than Gardasil’s opponents’ interpretations. Given this, I just wish that legislators and public health departments would be more cautious with this vaccine. Can we please get a little more data? We’re kind of beta-testing this vaccine on girls. I’m glad that most states seem to have said no to this legislation when it’s been introduced. In my state it was shot down just a month after it was introduced.

But I digress. I have a lot of data on Gardasil and its side effects and their incidence. What I can’t find is the incidence of serious side effects for widely accepted vaccines for comparison. Any epidemioloy wizards out there? What is considered an acceptable risk for a vaccine? They all do have risks. Is Gardasil on a par with the others, or is it being singled out because you have to have sex to get the disease, instead of just breathing the wrong air?

From Vaccine Awakening...

Public health officials and pediatricians should explain why 20 percent of America's highly vaccinated child population suffers with chronic illness and disability rather than blaming parents who refuse to salute smartly and take the risk of watching the child they love become one more victim of vaccine damage.

From Health Beat...

I first wrote about Gardasil on The American Prospect online in the summer of 2006, just weeks before the Merck vaccine designed to protect against cervical cancer went to market.

There, I noted that “the hullabaloo began in June when the FDA approved Gardasil, a vaccine widely described as ‘100 percent effective’ in preventing cervical cancer, a disease that kills some 233,000 women worldwide each year. The drumbeat grew louder last month when a federal panel recommended that all American girls and women ages 11 to 26 should be inoculated. And now there is talk that states may mandate the vaccine for all school-age children.

“But before prescribing for the entire population,” I suggested, “it's worth asking a few questions: Why does the vaccine cost $360 for a three-shot regimen? How much do we know about the new product? And is this a cost-effective use of health-care dollars?”

I reported what we knew at the time: Although Gardasil was commonly described as “100 percent effective” if you scrolled down far enough in most news stories, you would find that the vaccine is “100 percent effective” against “only two strains of HPV (human papillomavirus) that causes cervical cancer. And those two account for just 70 percent of all cases. The vaccine has no effect on the viral strains which account for the other 30 percent.”

From MOMformation...

Women will still need pap tests, as there are some strains of HPV not covered by the vaccine. The vaccine may make women feel falsely protected, and more likely to miss their pap smears and die eventually of cervical cancer.

As well, cervical cancer is relatively rare. It does not even make the American Cancer Society’s list of 10 deadliest cancers. Among American women, it causes well under a 10th of the number of deaths caused by lung cancer or breast cancer.

From Gardasil vs Guarding My Children...

Merck (the manufacturer of Gardasil) attests, though, that their vaccine is not to blame for these illnesses, including 10 deaths that occurred shortly after the vaccine was administered.

Hmmm... even though one of the risks that we know about can lead to death? Even though one doctor who worked as a researcher during the HPV clinical trials , stated "We don’t know yet what’s going to happen when millions of doses of the vaccine have been given and to put in place a process that says you must have this vaccine, it means you must be part of a big public experiment.

Also See:

A Mama Told Me

Kay Steiger

Age of Autism

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
at Catherine-Morgan.com, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election

A first go at it.

2008-08-30T02:02:49-05:00

I'm brand spanking new to this with some high standards set before me by the likes of the stellar and seasoned journeymama. When I started knitting, I followed a learning pattern of instruction, mastering, improvisation and then repeat. Chances are that this blog will be similar. So bear with me as my first few creations may be a bit simple or oddly shaped and missing some stitches. With a little guidance and practice, I should be humming out some pretty colorful ditties.

MOMocrats at the DNCC: We Came, We Saw, We're Exhausted

2008-08-30T02:01:16-05:00

The last two days of the Democratic National Convention contained a whirlwind of events culminating with the final speeches at Invesco field featuring Barack Obama, now the official Democratic nominee for president. Finally after a week of running around, we were all in the same place witnessing history. It took us a long time to get there, and many of us had to overcome various obstacles and struggles each day, but we did it and not only are we stronger for it, but so are the bonds between us and the MOMocrats blog has caught on - particularly with legislators who are moms. It's exciting.

Wednesday was spent hopping between final events and trying to get posts up after the first few days. Lawyer Mama had a busy day heckling anarchists and redefining community service, and we were all choking back tears during Beau Biden's introduction of his dad. Joan Garry wrote about her experience at the convention as Obama's LGBT
Finance Committee Co-Chair, taking a moment to reflect about a naive
protesters' point-of-view.

That evening, as I sat in the media tent outside the Pepsi Center, Hillary Clinton called for a vote of affirmation for Barack Obama to become president, and I couldn't help but soak in the moment - watching a woman ask another woman to call for a vote to nominate the first black man as U.S. president. Julie Lythcott-Haims, the delegate in our group, got chills from being right in the middle of the action.

Thursday, we headed to The Big Tent DIGG stage for the Ms. Foundation panel on "What Women Want, What the Country Needs", followed by "Cracks in the Glass Ceiling," put on by WomenCount and including Erin Kotecki Vest and me. Downstairs, Cynematic won a golden ticket to Invesco from Daily Kos, while Julie Lythcott-Haims was already inside Invesco reporting about preparations for the evening's event.

The rest of us had to wait for our passes to be distributed after 2:00pm to begin our journey. After walking quite a distance and standing in line for about four hours to get into Invesco field, some MOMocrats live blogged (chatted) the event as others tweeted and took video from the stands. Even from the farthest seats in the stadium, we were floored by Senator Obama's riveting speech - his boldness, sincerity, and his sense of truly grasping the issues that are important to Americans at this "defining moment" in history. As long and hard as the week was for all of us, it was a moment worth the wait.

Finally Friday, MOMocrats went after McCain's choice of VP nominee Governor Sarah Palin with guns blazing and stirred up a nice comment storm along with it. Join us for a Jobama Mama cocktail, ladies. It's been a long, thrilling week and we're going to keep going, as Hillary Clinton advised, until the last vote is cast. Yes we can.

Sarah Granger is proud to call herself a MOMocrat, and the more time she spends with the other MOMocrats, the more impressed she is by these women in every way.

Labor day sale: save up to 60% off lingerie

2008-08-30T00:37:46-05:00

Pamper Yourself - Shop now and receive 25% off of all Regular and Already-reduced (sale) merchandise for savings up to 60% off of original prices. Shop while supplies last.
To apply the 25% discount, enter code "LLLDS08" at checkout.

*Offer expires on September 4, 2008. This offer cannot be applied to prior purchases or to purchase gift cards. Can not be combined with any other special offer or promotion. For one-time use only. Not redeemable for cash.

www.LaviniaLingerie.com

First Born Frenzy

2008-08-30T00:28:52-05:00

When my son was born, our house transformed from a chic, yuppie house to all things baby boy. A barrage of toys-for-boys filled the rooms, an indoor slide, a maze of parachute tunnels and a mini-basket ball hoop dominated his playroom. His closet broke a rod holding the dozens of blue outfits he had been given and I had bought. Every day I was off to the store to get something he needed, and whether it was the latest baby gizmo or another have-to-have baby accessory, I managed to find something new and necessary for him.

His scrapbook was brimming over with firsts. First bath, first tooth, first time eating prunes, first time at the beach–every milestone was marked and documented. By year one I had over 3000 photos, and now at age three I have 5700 pictures stored on my external hard drive of all his firsts, seconds and thirds. When he was baptised we had a party of 150 people, rented a hall, a band and had a three-foot-long teddy bear cake custom made. His first Christmas was a landslide of toys, books and clothes. Like most parents, our first child got it all, and being the first grandchild only magnified the number of new things, extravagances and indulgences he’s enjoyed.

Baby number two has now arrived. My girl, beautiful and sweet, is much easier and more content than her brother. Thank goodness, because her room was still under construction when she came. I had painted it blue for my son, who at the 11th hour decided he didn’t want that room and switched to the other one in the house. Her crib, once his, stood beautifully in the room, despite a few dings and scratches. Her closet was bare at first; only hanging there were unisex garments I had recycled from him. Her toys were all his that I removed from a box had put away years before. She had all good toys, perfectly still-useable clothes, but it wasn’t until a month after I recovered from her birth that I went out to get the pink items she deserved.

Being a pictureholic, I would say her photo gallery is well into the hundreds, but not nearly as full as my son’s. I still make an effort to mark all of her milestones, but they are scribbled on a calendar in my office waiting to be transferred into the baby book and scrapbook that sits fragmentarily filled in the cupboard. With my son I took a professional photo every two months and sent handmade cards to 27 of our friends and relatives. My daughter’s one professional photograph sits waiting with the colored cardstock it will one day be on. I try to write in her journal, but the pages are slim, I stamp her foot print, but not every month like I did with him. He was in music classes, swimming lessons, Gymboree, and eventually sports ball, things I keep telling myself I will get to with her.

To read more please go to:agooblog.com

The Teens are home

2008-08-30T00:25:33-05:00

It's 12:09 and both teens are finally home. Tonight was the first football game for the new season. It was held at a school about an hour away from home. My teenage daughter (17) was driving out there with her friend. I went to watch my son (15) play and then headed home leaving both teens there to watch the varsity game. My son took the bus home with his team, but my daughter had to drive home. The expressways are all under construction, as usual, and I said a little prayer that God will keep her safe on the way home.

It's always a long night when they are out on the road. I just can't fall asleep when they're not home. I let my daughter have a 12:00 curfew only on the weekend nights and she must stay within our town's limits. It's not a big town so she can't go far. I am finding that I get less sleep now than I did when they were toddlers. So many things can happen to them and they think they are invincible. I want to try and spare them from the dangers that can happen. I know I won't be able to protect them from everything but I at least can try to prevent disaster.

Either way, it's past midnight, they're both home and now I can go to sleep. The house takes on a warm, safe feeling when they are both home and in bed. That's the way it is tonight. They both got home safely and now I can go to bed with a calm heart and mind. I can say my prayer of Thank You, close my eyes and drift into a relaxing sleep.

All is well in the house tonight.

DNC: Hollywood Goes to Denver

2008-08-29T23:40:05-05:00

As Katy, Erin and I worked the convention from one end of Denver to the other we were treated to celebrity sightings galore. Despite the fact that Erin and Katy are from Los Angeles and are each tangentially related to the entertainment industry, I was the chief celebrity spotter due to my role as a diligent (um, some might say unhealthy - I like to call it thorough) pop culture observer.

Although some complained that the party atmosphere was lacking due to Obama's ban on corporate lobbyist funding, the numerous star sightings (meaning one or more of us saw the person live, not on screen) fell into four groups: media, screen, music and politics.

On the political end, we glimpsed some female Democratic stars including Senator Hillary Clinton, California Senator Barbara Boxer and Kansas Governor and VP short lister Kathleen Sebelius fresh off the convention floor stage and giving her speech - a fellow blogger reached out and complimented her on her power red suit telling her to "wear it!" Former Secretary of State Madeline Albright was spied heading into a late night party.

We also spotted many prominent African American leaders including Jesse Jackson, Martin Luther King, III and Bernice King, Charlie Rangel, John Lewis and Kewsi Mfume. Massachusetts Governor, Deval Patrick, stopped by The Big Tent to hang out with the bloggers and learn how to blog himself.

Political blogger Markos Moulitsas created a bit of a stir when he stopped to offer us autographed copies of his new book, Taking On The System: Rules for Radical Change in a Digital Era. While I gushed over meeting the very first blogger I ever read, Erin was busy being feisty and grilling him over the banning of a blogger from the Daily Kos community.

Musician John Legend gave us a little thrill when he strolled past fresh from singing Yes We Can with will.i.am on the Invesco Field stage. Katy had insider status as she partied the night away with Moby.

Stars of the screens big and little abounded. We saw BlogHer guest blogger Erika Alexander heading into the EMILY's list event to sit with Hillary Clinton. We tried to catch her for a quick comment but unfortunately she was whisked away before we could.

The funny men of The Daily Show were everywhere. Erin was able to shoot some Qik video of them in action. I literally bumped into Aasif Mandvi & was *this close* to Rob Riggle and Larry Wilmore (who is surprisingly very tall).

Jeannie herself, Barbara Eden, was also trapped in the circle of hell better known as Invesco Field after the speech. The day after on the plane, many around me were still talking about the chaos that was trying to leave the stadium parking lot.

Oprah's BFF Gayle King was spotted headed into the CNN Grill, site of Erin's altitude sickness collapse.

Hottie dudes were also in great supply. Daniel Dae Kim (Jin from Lost) was our first sighting (and was spotted multiple times around the city). John Slattery (currently Roger Sterling on Mad Men but also known for playing politicians who woo Carrie Bradshaw and Gabrielle Solis among other roles) was stalking us frankly. You might be able to catch a glimpse of him in my Green DNC vlog as he just couldn't leave me alone.

Sadly for Erin and Katy, I was the only one who had the pleasure of seeing nattily dressed and smokin' hot, Taye Diggs as he strolled past, gorgeous wife in hand.

When it comes to the media, name an anchor or pundit and we probably spotted them.

Brian Williams, Tom Brokaw, Chuck Todd, Bob Schieffer, Jeff Greenfield, Katie Couric, Shepard Smith, Britt Hume, Bill Kristol, Diane Sawyer, Charlie Gibson, George Stephanopoulos, Roland Martin, Donna Brazile, Soledad O'Brien, Joe Scarborough and the man everyone wanted to have their picture taken with, Anderson Cooper. MSNBC spottings however, were not to be. Most sad to me, due to our rental car being held hostage, we were unable to catch rising superstar and soon-to-be host of her own show on MSNBC, Rachel Maddow. Ah well, I still have that celebrity sighting to look forward to!

But the biggest moment was when, while riding a DNC shuttle bus to Invesco Field, we stopped to pick up a special guest, his daughter and his entourage. Sharp dressed, handsome, Academy Award winning actor Jaime Foxx boarded our bus, video camera in hand. As Erin spontaneously uttered "Oh shit!" and fumbled for her camera she told Foxx that she was filming him. He however countered that in fact he was filming her. So while Katy and Erin may star on his video blog, he is staring on ours. Um, once I get Erin to post the video. :) Until then, here is a shot of him filming us.

Sunny. Extremely hot.

2008-08-29T22:44:38-05:00

A few days ago I had to make a phone call to Saudi Arabia from work.
I hopped onto Google to check 'current time in Riyadh' and clicked on
the first link. I did find the time, but I was distracted by this:

You see that? That's CRAZY hawt! (For those of you who don't speak Celsius, the high is 113, 114 degrees every day!)

In KL it gets to over 30 degrees every day (about 80'F) and we think
that's really hot. I guess it feels so hot to us because the humidity
is high, and because autumn never comes. Day after day after day of
summer. We don't complain about it (much), since we know our winter is
coming, and we'll be wishing for this warmth.

But 45?

In July and August, there are a lot of tourists in Kuala Lumpur from
the Middle East. I'm always intrigued when I see them around... and
these days I see them lots.

The kids and husband are usually dressed much as the European
tourists. Comfortable, casual, summery clothing. But of course the Arab
women are completely covered. I really do have respect for conservative
women, and don't have any problems with women choosing to be covered.
But that doesn't mean I don't feel incredibly sorry that they are in
this HEAT with that clothing.

But now I know it must feel cool to them here, since it's so much hotter where they're from.

I find them intriguing, the Arab women. If I were younger and alone,
if M and I didn't have the commitment to go to Canada, and I were the
intrepid teacher I used to be, I'd probably do a stint in the Middle
East.

When I see them here, I always find it intriguing to see them in
these contexts, and wonder what they think about all the skimpily
dressed girls they see here. But under some of those dark coverings,
there are some hot women... you can't miss their gold jewellery, smell
their perfume, see the heavy eye make-up, and catch glimpses of skin
when they're trying on shoes, jewellery, etc. It's incredibly
interesting, I'm telling you.

A few weeks ago there were some celebrations downtown, and one of
the 'acts' was this group of Thai (I think?) girls who did a dance,
then posed for pictures. I was standing behind this Arab woman who was
watching them too, and was much more interested in her than in them.
The side of her head is to me, and you can see how the front of her
face (facing them) is completely completely covered. Interesting, no?

I've explained before in my diary that less than 60% of the people
in Malaysia are Malays (Muslims). The others are mostly Chinese and
Indian. So not all Malaysian women are covered. But those that are have
a much different look than the Arabic women:

These are some of my students last year:

I'm not interested in discussing the differences between Muslim head
coverings here on my blog - though I am always interested in faith
discussions face to face with anyone who's interested.

I'm just sayin'... it must be hot under there!

Kids! Go Outside and Play! (If your helicopter parent will let you.)

2008-08-29T22:37:43-05:00

As a child, summertime meant playing with my friends all day. Outside. Without a parent hovering over me. It was simple. We jumped out of bed, snarfed down some breakfast and raced out to meet the "pack of kids" that roamed the neighborhood. We played until the streetlamps came on. Then? We scattered like roaches diving onto our front porches and driveways to ensure we made it home before all of the streetlamps turned on and we were "late" in getting home. Sure, we could check in now and then with our own mothers or the mothers of our friends but that was only when we were foraging for food or something to drink. (We were usually sent outside to the hose if it was for something to drink.)

Today? It is highly unlikely that you will see many kids outside playing without a parent just over their shoulder or definitely within 100 yards. It is rare to see a "pack of kids" outside roaming and just being kids. Which of course makes me wonder how they learn the fine games of childhood? How do you play the most awesome hide and seek game known to man if you aren't outside and have houses as boundaries rather than rooms? What about the old pranks of pretending to hold a string across the street when a car goes by and seeing if it will stop short because of it? Kickball in the street? Chase? Bike races? Are we just counting on the fact that our schools will provide enough physical activity our kids needs? Even if they do, what about the lessons of freedom, independence and self-confidence that comes with having some freedom?

When did our society become one that shelters our children so much that they are afraid to leave the safety of home to just go outside and play? Are we protecting them or are we doing them more harm than good? Can our kids learn how to be self-sufficient and-- just as important-- confident in their own abilities to take care of themselves when we never let them venture out of our sight for more than a few moments?

Do you remember in March, Lenore Skenazy, a New York City mother, gave her 9-year-old
son, Izzy, a MetroCard, a subway map, a $20 bill and some quarters for
pay phones. Then she let him make his own way home from Bloomingdale's
department store -- by subway and bus. She wrote about the experience for the The New York Sun and came under some serious fire and criticism for it? She fought back in a 21st century way, according the the LA Times.

Skenazy responded to the firestorm generated by her column by starting a new website -- freerangekids.wordpress.com
-- dedicated to giving "our kids the freedom we had." She explains: "We
believe in safe kids. ... We do NOT believe that every time school-age
children go outside, they need a security detail."

Good for her! Today parents are sold a bill of good that if we are not hovering over our children 24/7, they will be hurt, kidnapped or suffer some trauma that will all be on our shoulders because we were not with them at the time. I am not denying that there are some instances where we really need to watch over our children. And, I do know that the times? They have changed. But children? They have not. They need the freedom to go outside and play. To live their lives.

From the FreeRangeKids website, this is a brief description of the site and who it is geared towards:

Do You Ever...

..let your kid ride a bike to the library? Walk alone to school? Take a
bus, solo? Or are you thinking about it? If so, you are raising a Free
Range Kid! At Free Range, we believe in safe kids. We believe in
helmets, car seats and safety belts. We do NOT believe that every time
school age children go outside, they need a security detail. Most of us
grew up Free Range and lived to tell the tale. Our kids deserve no
less. This site dedicated to sane parenting. Share your stories, tell
your tips and maybe one day I will try to collect them in a book.
Meantime, let's try to help our kids embrace life! (And maybe even
clear the table.)

One blogger that definitely is raising a FreeRangeKid is SJ of the blog i,asshole. I love how even in the face of criticism both she and her daughter stood by what they felt was working for both of them. Notice...working and for them in that sentence? Isn't that what parenthood is all about. This is what SJ has to say about it.

Flack, there was flack, flack ahoy. Like a responsible netizen (oh yers
I did) I did not tell you that my big kid was walking by herself to and
from school every day. When I moved to this neighborhood, this is
something I thought would be a possibility with the children, along
with running to the store for bananas, to the methadone clinic, etc,
etc....

And she went! A little scared on the first day. There was some
hesitancy and some surprise from her teacher, who called me on the
first day she was to come home. "She's here and I'm sending her home
now, right? Okay?" Right, okay. Her teacher is used to the helicopter parenting, which is about 47 times less amusing than a roflcopter.

And then it got interesting. The sound of chopper blades filled the
air. People started cluing in to the fact that Franny was embarking
alone daily on a five-minute walk. OMFGBBQ, release the hounds. A
parent told her that she should not be walking home by herself, after
she and I had decided it was okay and that she was ready. Did you catch
that? Another parent told my little fledging independent
so-proud-of-herself kid that what she was doing was not okay. Another
well-meaning parent offered her a ride.

Even when we make a decision for our own families there are times that is rejected by other "well meaning" parents who are "just trying to help" when they see a child showing some independence. What kind of adults are we raising if we wait until they are old enough to leave legally before we trust them with any independence?

I will admit to my moments of helicopter parenting when it comes to my youngest. And I know that my kids have less freedoms than I had at their age. Is this safe parenting or is it overprotective parenting? Are we doing more harm than good? What message are we sending to our kids?

Do your kids go outside and play or are they homebound if you are not with them? Is there a right or wrong answer to this? Let me know what you think. In the meantime, I am going outside to play. (And my kids aren't even home to watch over me!)

---

Other sites referencing this subject:

boingboing: http://www.boingboing.net/2008/08/25/kids-cant-go-out-and.html

Daily Mail Online: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-462091/How-children-lost-right-r...

---

Contirbuting Editor (Mommy & Family) Jennifer Satterwhite also writes at Mommy Needs Coffee and Parenting.

Hands Off

2008-08-29T22:32:48-05:00

Just a suggestion to the chick behind me in Starbucks this morning.
Don’t stand right in front of the bar where the drinks come up,
blocking the whole thing so everyone has to reach around you to pick up
their coffee. And if you insist on standing there anyway, please don’t
finger every god-damned drink that gets placed on the bar. You know
your name and you know what your ordered. If they call, “Skinny Vanilla
Latte for Maureen” keep your fucking germy hands off my coffee. I don’t
know where they’ve been. Because next time? I might just walk up and
lick your coffee lid when you get your drink.

Minnesota, Year-Round Fun

2008-08-29T22:30:12-05:00

I had an email a few weeks ago from a reader who is moving to
Minnesota. She was wondering what there is to do in the Twin Cities
for fun. I had so much fun writing her a response that I thought I’d
post it here for y’all.

————————

A good resource for you would be momtalk.com, which will give you tips on fun things to do in the Twin Cities area. I’ll list some of my favorites by seasons here.

Bloggers unite to help plane crash victims

2008-08-29T22:15:26-05:00

I'm amazed by the love and community that's truly created through
the blogosphere on many levels. I've seen it often. But it wasn't until
last night that it really moved me. I happened to find out about
Stephanie of Nie Nie Dialogues and the tragedy her family is now going through.

Almost two weeks ago Stephanie and her husband Christian were in a plane crash
in which the flight instructor died. Stephanie and Christian were
critically injured, suffering major burns. They both remain in critical
care as burn patients. They will face many months of surgery, grafts,
and recovery. Their four young children face an uncertain future, as
they live with relatives during this time.

Stephanie has been blogging about her family life for the last four
years, sharing their life and making many friends through hundreds of
blogs. She is an inspiration for many, as a woman, a wife, a mother, a
sister, and a friend. Now, hundreds of bloggers are showing their
appreciation in amazing ways. Right now, hundreds are hosting silent
auctions to benefit Stephanie and Christian's recovery fund. There are
literally hundreds and hundreds of items up on the virtual auction
block hosted by Design Mom.
The auction ends Sunday night at 11:59pm. I encourage you to check that
out. But don't worry if you miss it, there's still plenty of generosity
going round the blogosphere to benefit the recovery fund. The site Nie Recovery
has all the information on how you can help, find more auctions, donate
to the cause and keep updated on their progress. Her sister's site, C Jane enjoy it is being kept current with updates on Nie and Christian and their families.

And something that any of us can do at any time is to pray for this
family, their four young children, all their brothers, sisters, parents
and more. Keep them in your thoughts and send them your own personal
healing thoughts.

Wandering Lost in the Biltmore House

2008-08-29T21:42:14-05:00

This week Dave and I are headed to Asheville, North Carolina for the
"Summer Soiree" contra dance weekend. It's a welcome relief to leave
the heat and humidity of Florida for the cool crisp mountain air and
all our dancing buddies!

I've made this trip to Asheville many times in the past, but had never
visited the Biltmore House - the mansion the Vanderbilts created and
the largest residence in the country. It never held any appeal for me,
but I heard several people rave about how fabulous it was, so last year
we decided that we would take some time to go see it.

It truly was fabulous, and HUGE! Well before we reached the end of the
tour, I had had enough. "Enough bedrooms! Enough!" I wanted to scream.
The velvet ropes on brass posts kept us moving along the proscribed
path. I thought about faking an illness so the guards would escort me
out.

I was not the only one fed up. A group in front of us had several
children with them. Why anyone would think children would enjoy this
was beyond me, but here they were! The children were whining and
fussing to get out of there. They wanted a nap, they wanted to run and
stretch their legs, they wanted a bathroom. The adults were becoming
pretty frazzled themselves and self-conscious that the other visitors
were giving them dirty looks.

One woman was dispensing M&Ms to the children to shush them. It
wasn't working. She was getting desperate. One boy was screaming at
the top of his lungs. When the woman tried to put a candy in his mouth,
he clenched his lips and continued to wail. She tried to shove the
candy between his lips. Finally, through clenched teeth, with both his
little hands balled up into fists, he screamed "I DON'T WANT THAT!"

That image has become seared in my brain. How often do you give
yourself food when what you really want and need is something else
altogether? Is your body screaming "I DON'T WANT THAT!" Are you
listening well enough to hear it? On a scale of 1-10, how genuine and
honest is your relationship with your body? Are you willing to ask the
question - "What is it that I truly want?" Do you want a hug? a nap? to
get out of the office? a new job or career? out of an abusive
relationship? Are you willing to give yourself what you need and want
once you figure it out?

Women have been giving themselves "substitutes" for what they really want long enough. The next time you start to eat something when you aren't hungry, stop and ask yourself what it is you really want, and then take the next brave step of granting yourself that wish.