BlogHer

Military Families Blogging Deployment

2008-07-04T08:01:16-05:00

My favorite thing about participating in the blogosphere is the opportunity it provides to walk a mile (or two, or twenty) in the shoes of people in very differently life experiences from my own. I have been learning much lately by reading some of the blogs by parents holding down the fort at home while their spouses are deployed overseas in the U.S. Armed Forces. Many of these families are blogging their journey with great honesty and courage.

Fayetteville Observer journalist and military wife Rebekah Sanderlin compiled a list of "The Worst Things You Can Say To a Woman Whose Husband Is Deployed". Number one on the list?

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on my "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

Situationally Single shares news from the front lines, and asks for prayer for her husband and his comrades:

Please pray for my hubby, his unit (the 404th Civil Affairs Brigade) and all of the other soldiers, military personnel and civilians that are in Iraq working to make it a better place. There really are good things going on over there; the media just does not highlight it. So I'm going to blog now and then about positive stories that I read from over there and the good things that are being done to help the citizens of Iraq have better lives.

Fifteen Months shares her memories about the morning her husband left for his post:

When we got to the airport, there was a few piles of young Marines sleeping in the hallways near the USO, which wouldn't open for several more hours. They either arrived on a red eye or were there to make sure they caught their own flight back I'm sure. It broke my heart to see these young men without a send off that befitting to their service. No a wife or parent or volunteer or camera....just some lady riding up an escalator with her husband at the end of R&R taking a picture with her cell phone. Did America know the USO isn't always open?

Heart and Home writes with great pride about what she sees her husband doing:

People hear that my husband is in Iraq right now and often they tell me a sincere and sweet thank you and ask that I would extend it to him. Every time I hear it, my heart swells and I'm thankful again for these guys (and girls) and thankful I can be part, in my holdin' down the fort kind of way, in this fight for liberty.

Of course, is it not only women who find themselves stateside with a spouse in a war zone. A Soldier's Mind tells the story of Tim Gilhool, who is parenting his son while his wife has been deployed for the last year:

“You do your best...You can’t be the mom. Like planning birthday parties, combing Molly’s hair, putting in the braids, shopping for girlie stuff. You do the best you can, you get advice.”

Tammi Domininski wrote in Newsweek last month a heartfelt column about her family's deployment experience, one that seems to echo much of the resolve I've seen expressed by these families:

I battled through, sometimes with support, sometimes alone, and ultimately came out on the other side better, wiser, stronger. We military wives live our lives like patches on a quilt, lives we stitch together to make a blanket of memories, and of strength, that covers us forever, no matter where we go, no matter how hot the water gets.

Shannon Lowe is a BlogHer contributing editor (Mommy/Family), and she blogs at Rocks In My Dryer.

Gay India comes out in force

2008-07-04T02:54:01-05:00

When I posted about sexual minorities in India few weeks back, I didn't imagine India's gay community would take this leap so soon: On June 29, hundreds of gays, lesbians and transgenders marched on the streets of the country's capital city, New Delhi, tech hub Bangalore (Bengaluru), and culture-conscious Kolkata (Calcutta), making it India's first multiple-city gay pride parade.

India's first gay pride march was organized in the eastern city of Kolkata in 1999, when gay activists joined their American counterparts in commemorating Stonewall day. Kolkata has been marching annually since 2003. This year, New Delhi and Bangalore joined in.

The coordinated marches were spiced up with desi fare: transvestites dressed in colorful saris, supporters dancing to drumbeats and chanting "Homophobia quit India", a hark back to the country's Quit India movement against the British. Besides celebrating multiple sexual orientations in India, the participants also highlighted the need to change a colonial-era law that criminalizes homosexuality. The law is now being challenged in the Delhi High Court.

Photo credit: Anindita Sengupta's blog

Modestly dressed, the marchers -- joined by well-wishers and some foreign visitors -- were a far cry from San Francisco's psychedelic annual ritual. I think that goes in favor of the gay movement in India. For a group that is barely beginning to be recognized as human and natural, dressing "queer" will hardly endear them to their uneasy heterosexual counterparts. Those bold statements can come later, if at all.

What impressed me most was the lack of any disruptions, protests or violence. The parades went off peacefully, and neither the police nor the curious public gave the marchers any grief. The right wingers reportedly stayed away in order NOT to give the gay movement any publicity. They got the publicity all right: the media, domestic and foreign, were all over it.

While the parades revealed how much the Indian gay community has grown in confidence, fear of discrimination has kept many of them closeted. Many participants hid behind colorful masks for fear of being recognized by colleagues and family, not unlike the social "masks" that they hide behind on a daily basis. As one of the participants was quoted saying in this report on SFGate, many gay couples hide behind social etiquette that allows for a remarkable amount of physical proximity among members of the same sex, since interaction between men and women can be restricted in many communities:

"They don't really understand what we're doing," said a mild-mannered 25-year-old software engineer whose face was hidden under a handkerchief, speaking of herself and her similarly veiled girlfriend. "They just think we're best friends, hanging out. It's time people know that we are more than friends."

As the couple rejoined the parade, they raised a sign high in the air. In bold red letters it read: "Give me support; I want to take off my mask."

What the gay community has going for it is lack of any organized, aggressive opposition to the movement. As long as you are not too vocal about your sexual preferences, people seem okay, many a times assuming that you are heterosexual. Not surprisingly, most of the gay movement will be spearheaded by the urban and educated populace. (Kolkata, however, has begun seeing more rural participation.)

Which is the lack of participation in Mumbai (Bombay) -- the city of dreams and Bollywood-- and the southern city of Chennai -- capital of Tamil Nadu, the first Indian state to allow its universities to teach members of the "third gender" , has left many surprised.

To Each Its Own's Saakshi Juneja is unhappy that Mumbai missed out of parade, but gives us a sneak peak into the city's gay life:

‘Hypocrisy’ is the one-word answer I got when I posed this question to a Gay friend. Apparently, there is much infighting and lack of unity among the various Gay groups and NGOs in the city. [...]

The white-collared lot happily goes about its business without caring about ‘burning’ issues like rights or laws, said another Gay friend. In Mumbai, it seems, not many can be bothered enough to dress up and walk the streets the way they did in Delhi, Bangalore and Kolkata. But the same does not hold true for parties, I recently discovered.

Boy do they dress up there, and boy, do they party.

Photo credit: Anindita Sengupta's blog

Well, one of Saakshi's complaints may be taken care of. Lesley Esteves, one of the organizers of the Delhi march, told NPR that Mumbai would have its own march of August 16, a day after India's independence day, to underscore how many Indians still aren't free. (Lesley also blogs as Bombay Boy).

Bengaluru's first gay pride march, too, went without a hitch. Anindita Sengupta (who also blogs at Ultra Violet), posts a first hand account of the march with some fabulous pictures, two of which I have used in this post above.

She reports:

The mood was an edgy mix of defiance and celebration; lots of colourful flags swished in the breeze; and while some faces were masked, others were joyfully bare. The media had turned up in droves and the police were surprisingly un-troublesome.

For India's long-suppressed sexual minorities, this is progress. It's almost as if young and urban India wants this change to happen. The ride is nevertheless going to be bumpy, but if the gay movement is successful in decriminalizing the sodomy law, India's social fabric is in for some truly colorful change.

What's A Woman's Worth? (Plus an Independence Day Bonus)

2008-07-04T01:38:12-05:00

Do you ever question your worth? Are you afraid to speak up for yourself? Do you diminish your self with self-deprecating humor and beat them to the punch you know is coming?

I suspect that we all experience crises of confidence in our selves. How do we move through those moments? Is it just a matter of sitting in front of a mirror and reciting Stuart Smalley's affirmation" "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!"

Whenever I struggle with knowing or appreciate my worth in any situation I find that a couple of practices work well. One is meditation. Anything where you are able to sit still, quiet your thoughts and breathe. Shutting up those voices in your head that tell you that you are insufficient or that you shouldn't stand up for you. The other technique I find useful is just to listen for evidence that I am worthy (or, really, any question I'm grappling with) and why which often comes during those two great thinking opportunity, epiphany-giving activities: walking the dog or taking a shower. I wouldn't be half the genius I am if it weren't for showers and dog walking.

If showers and dog walking aren't really working for you allow me to share the wisdom of other bloghers.

Jennifer Stoddart at Work In Progress writes of The Importance Of Knowing Your Worth

We know our worth in our careers and our friendships, but why do we sometimes forget our worth when it comes to relationships? It seems that there will be people in our lives that we will fall for who will not completely see our worth, and in their self cherishing ways, will bruise our hearts.... Know your worth, don't ever forget how special you are; and if someone makes you doubt your value or compromise yourself or your integrity, know that you do deserve more than that.

Samantha Smikle at On My Own Writes says:

Whether it's a job, a relationship or a pair of shoes that you can't afford (but you think you deserve)--you have to know your worth.

Terreece M. Clarke at Freelance Writing Jobs & More offers Freelance Writing Commandment #3 - Know Your Worth:

Each day, freelancers troll job boards, contact editors, follow-up with clients and screen offers for gigs. And with each contact we make decisions on our worth. The question is, are you treating yourself with the respect you deserve?... [So] Be a professional and know your worth!

Cesca at On The Garden Wall... confessions of a bad housewife is feeling burnt out, but...

Yesterday at 5pm I realised that I was feeling faint and physically terrible. It took me a while to realise why - I'd been on my feet all day, racing around the place, but had forgotten to actually eat anything all day. Not good.

I've made up for that today, and intend to enjoy my merlot tonight. As that ad goes, I'm worth it.

Nathalie Lussier at Billionaire Woman explains The Difference Between Fulfillment and Achievement:

Real fulfillment is when you wake up knowing that you are enough, you have everything you will ever need (or it will fall into place soon enough). You are filled with joy, with a deep lasting satisfaction that doesn’t disappear with the changing of circumstances. It is something that stays with you always and that cannot be shaken....

How to Get Fulfillment [?]

4. Count your blessings and know that you are enough.

Christy Murphy's blog name and description tell the story:

You Are Enough: The first error is the assumption that you are not enough. The second error is that you can do something about it because it operates under the incorrect assumption of the first error. You are enough. No matter where you are in life, what you did or did not do today, YOU ARE ENOUGH--ALWAYS.

Finally, JLITT62's SparkPeople blog shares this wisdom:

Some time ago I came up with this mantra:

You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. ...

We think we aren't good enough. Not a good enough mother, not a good enough friend, not a good enough wife, not good enough for anyone to ever fall in love with. But you are enough.

And, an Independence Day bonus - three bloggers who are declaring their independence:

Gertiecranker says:

Quick Draw’s advice to me (well, he had several advices on some of his favorite topics—some of you will know what I mean) was to “Get over being a sick person.” He meant, go do stuff! Take my cane, or my walker if I have to, but go do stuff.

I think that’s what Sarah meant by declaring independence. I am no longer a passive sick person. I may limp a little, and I won’t jog the Tart Trail or step dance on the tabletops…but I have a lot of reasons to celebrate tomorrow, personal as well as patriotic.

Lorie Marrero at The Clutter Diet® Blog says:

What if you declared independence from your stuff--forever? What if you could just walk away from everything and start over?

Megan at Free my Brain from Migraine Pain says:

I wish you independence from pain, from fear and from worry!

BlogHer is Going to Minneapolis - St. Paul- ARE YOU?

2008-07-04T01:02:25-05:00

In addition to our coverage from Denver and the Democratic National Convention, BlogHer has also been awarded credentials to cover the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis - St. Paul.

That's right, the BlogHer team is going to spend August 25th-28th bringing you DNC details from Denver, sleep for a weekend, and turn around and head to the Twin Cities for all things GOP September 1-4th. (whew, I'm tired already!)

Two weeks of convention coverage from BlogHer.com!

The Official Blog of the GOPCONVENTION2008 says, "This year, the Republican National Convention planning team is much more focused on using new media to get the party's message out, said Matt Burns, director of communications for the convention."

* "The Republican convention in Minneapolis/St. Paul this year has a YouTube channel and has launched a YouTube video contest to attract Internet users."
* "In addition, USTREAM.TV has formed a partnership with the Republicans to stream video live. Burns said recent progress in video streaming technology will make it easier to provide live coverage of the convention to online users."
* "In addition, the convention has a Twitter account and FaceBook page and MySpace pages- and has launched an interactive online forum known as CONVENTIONiNSIDER where visitors can ask questions about planning in Minneapolis/St. Paul."

"The Republican convention team also said a Spanish language Web site is under development, and that video and streaming in Spanish would occur."

Karol from Alarming News will be there, "I just got my blogger credentials to attend the 2008 Republican National Convention in Minneapolis-Saint Paul.

Anyone else yet?"

For those who may not have been credentialed, but still want to participate the StarTribune reports the GOP National Convention is putting out an "SOS" for volunteers,

"The local committee says it has enlisted 6,000 volunteers. But it still needs another 4,000. The Denver Host Committee, which says it has gotten 21,000 volunteers for the Democratic convention, Aug. 25-28, shut off the application process three months ago."

If you are going or just blogging the happenings from your laptop and tv, make SURE to add yourself to BlogHer's Guide to Political Bloggers widget. (pssst, you can access it from your PHONE while you are there to find other bloggers!)

Outside, inside, or thousands of miles from Denver and St. Paul, women who blog will be covering events as they unfold. Will you? Let us know!

Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain blog

DIY Round Up

2008-07-03T22:48:52-05:00

This weekend, like most of Americans, I will be outside cooking on my grill. Unlike most Americans, I will be cooking outside because I don't have a working kitchen. So far it hasn't been that much of an inconvenience, because who doesn't like to have a break from cooking every single night.

Though tonight when a huge storm rolled through right before I was set to cook I was at a loss of what to serve for dinner. Finally I pulled out the cold cereal. And my children cheered.

This long weekend we have lots of plans, all of them involving working on the house, and none of them involving parties.

Let's see what other people have been up to lately.

Patti from Patti's Ponderings shows off her new bathroom. I love the tile work, it is beautiful.

Lestercat received a letter from their city telling them to clean up their property or face fines. This happened to us when we bought our house. Our insurance company dropped us saying that our house looked like it should be condemned. Ouch.

Jennifer at Tiny Old House completes two small projects that didn't require much effort or money and yet made a large impact on how they feel about their house.

Inspired DIY asks what you think of painted white wood floors. I like them, in theory. The idea of living with them and my dirty children makes me start twitching.

When she isn't blogging about her life at Notes from the Trenches, Chris is working at rescuing her house from a century of neglect and bad taste. She can also be found writing about home improvement and design at DIY This N' That.

The Baby Borrowers: Reality TV gone too far?

2008-07-03T18:18:24-05:00

NBC's new reality show "The Baby Borrowers" takes five teenage couples through a crash course in adulthood tasking them with responsibilities such as a house payment, a job, and for three days, the care of a baby (and later, a toddler, pre-teen and elderly person). Many bloggers and others are up in arms over infants being separated from their parents for so long for a so-called "social experiment" saying it is irresponsible television and some have even called it child abuse.

Although my stomach lurched when I first heard about this show with a catchy name and the slogan "It's not TV. It's birth control!" and had no intention of watching it, I decided that if I was going to write about it with any sort of authority I really needed to take a look at least some of it. I watched the second half of the first episode, when the parents dropped off their infants to the teenage couples, and most of the second episode which also dealt with the couples caring (or not) for the babies and their first days going to work outside the home.

As I watched it one word kept coming to mind: exploitation. The whole show reeked of exploitation - exploitation of the infants and of the teens. I've read people argue that it's not like these babies were kidnapped. After all, their parents willingly signed up to participate and handed them over for the show. But my concern is not what the parents' opinion or thoughts on participating were or that safety measures were all in place, it is that the babies had no say in the matter. They weren't able to voice their feelings and say, "No, I don't want to leave you, Mommy and Daddy, and go live with strangers who know nothing about babies for three days." They were only able to cry, and cry they did. These poor babies had no idea how long their parents would be gone, or really if they'd ever return. My heart broke every time one of them cried, was called "it" (which happened on many occasions), was told to "starve" (as one was when he wouldn't eat), or was juggled about haphazardly.

Yet not all of the show consisted of upset crying babies. There were happy times for them as well and a few of the teenagers really seemed to rise to the occasion and take their parenting role seriously. But we'll never know what really went on behind the scenes, how much was edited or how NBC's "social experiment" will affect these little people in the immediate future or further down the road.

Zero to Three, a national nonprofit multidisciplinary organization who's mission is "to support the healthy development and well-being of infants, toddlers and their families," issued a response to The Baby Borrowers citing studies that have been done on babies who have been through prolonged separation from their family. Here is just a bit of it:

For the past 80 years, many studies have shown unequivocally that babies and toddlers suffer when they are exposed to this kind of prolonged separation from family and left with people that they do not know or love. As all parents know, babies and toddlers are very distressed by separation. They cry, cling, and search for their parents. The longer the separation, the more upset they become. Some children are unable to sleep and refuse to eat. The responses routinely last long past the child’s reunion with the parent. Prolonged separations heighten young children’s separation anxiety and damage their trust that their parents will be available to protect and care for them. Children can become angry and rejecting of their parents after being reunited with them, damaging the fabric of the child-parent relationship.

Studies show that babies and toddlers need to feel safe and secure in order to form a positive sense of self, to form healthy relationships, and to feel confident to explore their world. This sense of security is dependent on the availability and stability of their trusted primary caregivers. Being separated for a three-day period from a parent or trusted, familiar adult, and being thrust into the care of a total stranger who has no experience with the child—how he or she is comforted, likes to be fed, held, etc.—and who has no experience caring for young children at all, can be very stressful for the child.

Due to her concern for the "present and future emotional health of these babies," Jan Hunt of The Natural Child Project wrote an open letter to NBC. Here's a clip of it:

Babies do not have the mental capacity to anticipate the return of a mother who has gone; they cannot use imagination or project into the future. Research consistently shows that babies separated from their mothers have skyrocketing cortisol levels. This is neurotoxic, damaging brain tissue in the prefrontal lobe areas that regulate emotion, leading to a lifetime vulnerability. When cortisol is produced due to emotional stress, the next stressful experience creates an even larger surge of cortisol. By the time a stressed child reaches adulthood, he is likely to overreact to all stressful situations, making it harder to cope with life's challenges. For all these reasons, babies and young children should be kept as stress-free as possible, to protect their future psychological and physical health.

As traumatic as this experience will surely be for these babies and children, the effects will not end when they return home. Will their parents then understand and empathize with their inevitable sadness and regressed behavior? Probably not, because few parents are aware of the critical importance of early childhood experiences. There is every reason to believe that this kind of trauma will have long-term effects, making it harder for these children to trust their parents or indeed, anyone else.

Ashlee at Mama's Nest says, "I can not imagine what would motivate parents to put their babies through this… oh, wait, it’s America- anyone wanna guess how much money they made? ::end rant::"

I actually had the same thought as Ashlee, but according to The Washington Post article, "NBC says the families who came on the show did not get paid to appear." Really? Wow. That leaves me wondering if not money, then what were their motivations?

The blogger at RunningAmuck wrote, "Watching all those mamas hand over their precious babies to total, very inexperienced and self-absorbed, strangers… left me with a knot in the pit of my stomach. I could not even imagine doing it myself. The parents did get to watch via cameras and there were professional nannies at each home to monitor the safety of the child. They were not to step in unless the baby was in danger. Slight comfort. I had tears welling up every time I watched one of the parents say goodbye to their babies."

On Mom Exchange jencct wrote, "While I am quite interested to see how things pan out, I also wonder [what] parents in their right mind would "lend" their six-eleven month olds to teenagers who have no clue about babies! I guess I'm not their target market. I could not even think about leaving my kids with other people!"

So what could motivate a parent to leave her child in the care of strangers? The publicity and exposure? The chance to get their little one noticed? According to Natalie Nichols, one of the mothers who gave up two of her children - daughter Etta (6 months) and son Benjamin (2) - for the show, it was because she was a teenage mother herself and says it was that experience that motivated her to let her children be a part of the show. She wanted the teens to learn how hard it really is to be a parent. Lil Sugar blog has an interview with Natalie and The Washington Post posted an article about Natalie, which contained some very surprising information (at least to me) about her being a breastfeeding and co-sleeping mom.

Natalie describes not sleeping for the three days that Etta was with Sean and Kelsey. "It was harder with Etta being there than Benjamin," she said, "[Etta] was more needy so I had to really supervise." Because Natalie was nursing Etta at the time of the show, she was pumping and sending milk over to the teen house. As preparation for the show, Natalie and Chet had to make sure that Etta would take milk from a bottle.

On screen, the cameras show Etta crying for much of the episode, frustrating her young caretakers. Off screen, though, Natalie says Etta was happy during the day. Nighttime was a different story. Etta, normally a co-sleeper, wouldn't settle alone in a crib, so Sean had to stay up holding her all three nights. After several hours of watching the caregivers' frustration escalate, Natalie went over to have a little chat with Sean and Kelsey. After that, Natalie says, Sean stepped up and put Etta's needs ahead of his own.

So, what happened to Etta after the show? "You would have never known she had been there. She was not traumatized. It was like she made a new friend," said Natalie, who gave Sean a cast made from Etta's hand as a gift.

I'm glad that doing the show didn't seem to have an effect on her, but no comment on whether or not she may have been traumatized. I mean, how can she really know if it will have a lasting effect on her?

Although Etta was a breastfed and co-sleeping baby, from what I saw on the show there was no mention of pumped breastmilk or that she was used to co-sleeping. I feel like NBC had the chance to educate teenagers (who they claim was their target demographic for the show) that breastmilk is a healthy, normal way to feed a baby, but they dropped the ball (yet again). They did, however, show the teenage boys shopping on the formula aisle in the grocery store. Now that I think about it, I didn't notice if any formula companies sponsored the show, as I TIVO'd it and skipped over commercials, but I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. I don't know why I would expect NBC to redeem themselves by discussing breastfeeding on the show (which might be a big reality check for these teens - breasts have a function other than to look good in a shirt), but I had hopes there'd be some sort of positive message to come from all of this.

A comment from Asia84 on Lil Sugar's blog asks the question that I want answered too, "Has anyone thought about how the infants themselves feel???? One minute, I was with mommy and daddy, and I had my favorite binky. Life was grand. Then, next thing I know I'm being handed over to this pretty girl and this guy who looks at me funny. Do I have applesauce on my nose?? I'm teething, so I DON'T wanna eat, but I'm hungry, so I'm gonna cry. I want my mommy. I want my mommy. I want my mommy. I'll even settle for daddy. I just want my mommy!"

Angie Felton at Parent Dish believes there are other, better ways to educate teens on the immense responsibility of raising children.

I'm all for educating teens on child care getting rid of the notion that parenting is one big ball of baby powdery fun, but there ARE better ways than dumping a baby off with complete strangers for a television show. Working at a childcare center, volunteering at a church nursery or preschool, or even babysitting are all good ways to get a small idea of what life as a parent is like.
What exactly is going on with our society that makes babies fair game for a reality series, anyway?

I think NBC made some poor choices in creating this show the way that they did. They could've taught responsibility without exploiting babies. And then there is the question is this show reaching it's targeted demographic and is it influencing their choice of whether to have children now or to wait? Or are teens going to watch it, think "hey, that doesn't look so hard" and have babies anyway?

Did you watch the show? What do you think? What would you do?

Contributing editor Amy Gates writes about attachment parenting, activism, green living and photography at Crunchy Domestic Goddess.

Faceless People Loiter in London -- to Help Sell Lotus Cars?

2008-07-03T16:39:13-05:00

A creepy duo of faceless people have been appearing all over London lately, raising the interest of bloggers and news crews alike, though apparently not worrying those around them much. An article at the MailonSunday website says mysterious faceless people have been spotted at such A-list events as Wimbledon, Henley Regatta, the Harrods sale, and Elton John's White Tie and Tiara Ball.

The MailonSunday website conjectures that they may be "at the centre of a viral marketing campaign for an as-yet unknown product of forthcoming horror film." One astute Brit at the MetaFilter community forums pointed out that the date it's counting down to is the day before the opening of the British International Motor Show, and suggests it may be a promotion for the upcoming Lotus Eagle.

According to this video report on Yahoo! they might be linked with a viral advertising campaign on behalf of Lotus Cars. The key bit of evidence supporting this theory is the website facelesspeople.com - which features nothing more than a countdown indicating that "TRUE CHARACTER WILL EMERGE IN (insert countdown here)."

The facelesspeople.com site also gives visitors an opportunity to find out more, rewarding those brave enough to provide an email address with a thank you, and the promise that "when true character emerges, you will be one of the first to know."

The evidence pointing towards Lotus increases when you compare the enigmatic badges the faceless duo are wearing in photos of them at Wimbledon to the Lotus insignia floating at the bottom of the facelesspeople.com homepage. The color scheme is slightly different but there is no denying the similarity in shape.

Coincidence? I think not! I guess we'll know for sure when I'm rewarded with information at the email address I provided. In a case of viral advertising, these faceless people win a prize for spreading their virus all the way from London to Los Angeles!

Jody DeVere
President
www.askpatty.com
www.carblabber.com

Man Kills Daughter-in-Law: A “Little Racism” Can Cost You Your Life

2008-07-03T15:23:42-05:00

Last week, Chiman Rai, 68, was convicted and sentenced to life in prison for arranging the murder of his daughter-in-law. The man, originally from India, felt that his son’s marriage to the African-American woman, who was 22 and had only been married for a month to Rai’s son, was a dishonor to his family:

Rai viewed the young woman as unacceptable because she was black, prosecutors have said. Sparkle Rai was murdered April 26, 2000 in her Union City apartment and the case went unsolved until a break two years ago indicated that her relationship with Rajeeve "Ricky" Rai, now 27, was the motive. Defense lawyer Don Samuel argued that while Rai may have hired a hit man, he didn't order such a brutal killing. And while there was evidence that Rai, a native of India, believed his son's marriage would cast a stigma on his family in caste-conscious Indian society, Samuel said Rai wasn't a racist and had strong support in the African-American community in Jackson, Miss., where he had run a grocery and other businesses.

On a bit of a side note, Canada has, unfortunately has had some recent experience with honor killings. In December, Aqsa Parvez, a Toronto-area teenager of Muslim descent was allegedly killed by her father and brother because she would not wear a Hajib. More recently, in February of this year a contract killing, allegedly orchestrated by the spurned ex-girlfriend of Brampton (in the GTA) resident Jasvir Singh Dhaliwal who married another woman in India, choosing an arranged marriage over a four-year relationship. Reports say that his ex-girlfriends brother flew to Punjab, arranged to the shooting death of Dhaliwal and his cousin and then returned to Canada. There have been other recent cases in British Columbia where Canadians who decide to marry someone outside of their ‘caste’ (a very, very brief definition refers to social classes defined by hereditary groups) are murdered by family members as a way to circumvent shame and embarrassment for the family.

The case has also made headlines not specifically because of the horrific nature of the case,( the crime went unanswered for eight years) but also because of current social and racial climate, especially in the US. The Democratic Presidential nominee is a biracial man that has obviously caused some issues and questions about race in America and notions of racism have been centered on black / white relations. This case shows something that has not been widely revealed in the public eye: the dynamics of racism between two entho-cultural groups, especially because Rai, a former professor, had previously taught at predominately-black Alcorn State University employed African-Americans in his business, and was generally well-liked in the black community where he lived. But apparently, the people closest to him knew that despite his outward actions, he has some issues with blacks, most notably his son who had told his wife that his parents were dead:

Chiman Rai's ex-cell mate also testified that while sharing a cell, Mr. Rai would often call black people the scum of the earth. He stated Mr. Rai once told him, if he had a lot of money, he would kill all black people. After his wife's murder, Ricky Rai admitted to the police that his father was, "a little racist". Currently, Ricky Rai has since remarried to an Indian woman.

Rajeeve "Ricky" Rai testified yesterday. He was married to Sparkle Rai, who was brutally stabbed to death while holding their infant daughter who was "unharmed" physically. He hid the child and marriage from his Indian parents. He was asked why he hasn't seen his daughter, Analla, on whom he once doted, since shortly after the murder. He gave custody of her to Lowry (ATL reporter and step-mom) and her husband, the child's grandfather. His parents have never seen the girl. "Why haven't you seen your child in almost eight years?" Ross (prosecutor) asked."It just seemed things got more and more distant," Rai stated. Since the murder he has married an Indian woman and received his Bachelor's degree from Northwestern.

There have also been some serious moral concerns raised. How could a man, after his wife was murdered, abandon his daughter? Was it because he knew that his family would never accept the girl because she was biracial? Shouldn’t he have thought about that before he had a child – or even entered a relationship with his wife? How could his father hate someone whom he didn’t know to the point that he would pay someone to stab and strangle her to death? In front of her daughter? While we will probably never know the answer to that. A number of bloggers have wished that both the Rai men are forced to take the express train to Hell. From State of the Qusan:

So now this man is going to get life or the death penalty over a "bad" marriage? I cannot fathom how all of this was worth it. Like it or not, he has a grandchild. His son has moved on in the "right kind" of marriage but how must he feel knowing his dad did this? How must his new wife feel knowing that her husband's family is capable of such a heinous act? I know this kind of thing may be fairly commonplace over there but it's just not going to fly here. How will this old man fare in prison in Mississippi with a whole bunch of folks who are black and know he had a black woman killed because he thought his son was too good for her? Other cultures have a right to their traditions but not when they break the law and not when people end up maimed or killed. I almost feel bad for him because he could have probably gotten away with this in India - and almost did here.

Constructive Feedback has another perspective on the case. See, the assassins that killed Rai were African American:

The Indian father hires a Black man to find a hit man to kill the Black woman. The Black middle man ends up finding a hit man, ANOTHER BLACK MAN to kill the Black woman for money.
The "Nurse Eunice Rivers/ Snarling Fox" Award is named after Nurse Eunice Rivers who was a Black female nurse who assisted in the Tuskegee Syphilis experiment. She willingly went along with individuals seeking to do active harm to Black people and thus is worthy of permanent shame. All other people who act in such a way thus are worthy of this award.
Sharing the prize this month are:
Willie Fred Evans, 74 - Black Man who conspired to kill a Black mother on behalf of a racist
Herbert Green, 60 - Black Man who conspired to kill a Black mother on behalf of a racist
Carl Clark, 43 - Black Man who conspired to kill a Black mother on behalf of a racist
Cleveland Clark, 49 - Black Man who conspired to kill a Black mother on behalf of a racist. Special acknowledgment needs to go to Cleveland Clark. He was the Black man who stabbed and strangled Sparkle. He is reported to have said that he should have killed the child as well. The 7 month old child who cried as her mother lay dead next to her.

So what do y'all think? There are other angles to this case that other bloggers have raised, such as the devaluation of black women - in this case, by the father-in-law and the amount of time that it took the police in Georia to solve the murder. For more info, check out Siddy's blog ( NOTE: she mentions the case in a couple of posts)

Hey Baby, It's the 4th of July

2008-07-03T10:59:11-05:00

Like lots of Americans, you may be thinking "backyard BBq and trek to the nearest fireworks display." It's a good plan, a classic really. This unlikely patriot prefers to avoid the crowds, but this year, since we have house guests, we're going old school and joining you for the grilling and the oohs and aahs. There's a beach promenade just over there, we'll head down a little before dark with enough time to a walk a mile to the good views, just in case - it's a popular spot.

I love seeing how traditional American pastimes get translated by those living abroad - here are a few links:

If you're in London and feeling independent, isanngo has a list of Cool Things for American Expats for the 4th.And here's a blogger in New Zealand on her family plans...

[our girls...]are learning the Pledge, "America, the Beautiful", and, of course, "The Star-Spangled Banner." The only problem is that I keep crying everytime I hear the national anthem and I can't explain why -- it's a far more emotional song for me now, as an expat, than ever before. Plus, we're making a giant American flag and indulging in some true American picnic foods: Friday will see us eating fried chicken and potato salad (just like you!) but we'll be doing it in front of the heater with hailstorms outside (I'll never get into these reversed seasons!).--Welcome to Munchkin Land

On Letters from Estonia, blogger Aarne got to attend the ambassador's Fourth celebration - on the 16th of June.

I had received an invitation to the Fourth of July bash through a fellow expatriate, and I figured it would be fun to see what kind of a party the ambassador from the United States would throw.

If you're up for braving the holiday crowds, ABC News has a list of terrific destination - seeing the fireworks at Mount Rushmore, okay, how cool is that? Or you can go to Monticello to hear the President speak - an event that's steeped in history (and nuisance due to the extreme security our President requires.) It's an event I'd love to attend (though not this year, not this President) for the sheer wonder of hearing the declaration read at Jefferson's home.

And hey, if you happen to be flying and planning on firing your shotgun into the air once you arrive at your destination, the TSA wants to remind you about the rules for flying with bottle rockets and sidearms. Um.

A few last words of common sense advice if you're traveling this weekend: Give yourself plenty of extra time to accommodate traffic and crowds, wear sunscreen, for the love of the USA, don't drink and drive, keep the small ones a safe distance from the explodables (and even those grown should use extreme caution) and, as always, travel light.

Pam blogs about travel and other adventures at Nerd's Eye View.

So You Think You Can Dance Recap: The Top 14 dance twice!

2008-07-03T10:35:13-05:00

Last night was an epic SYTYCD, with each couple performing two routines. Last night it was also clear who the judges favor, who they are gunning for, and I even detected a bit of strategy on their part, namely: Send a message to fans that they would never boot Will, so please PLEASE put him in the Bottom 3, so they can boot Jessica.

And I have the same plea.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. What exactly went down in fron of the judges, Nigel, Mary (who now exclusively wears disco-ball-clothing) and hip-hop choreographers Napolean & Tabitha (does anyone else hear really really want to see them actually dance?)

Couple #1: Will & Jessica

Will & Jessica kicked off the evening with a Jive. This started slow as ever, with Will once again effortlessly outshining Jessica by being sharp and full of focused energy and Jessica being clompy and probably steadfastly on the beat...which made her seem behind the beat, because Will has the gift of breathless anticipation in his moves. I mean, I feel sorry for her too the way they heap him with praise and go so far as to say out loud that she is dragging him down, but the truth hurts, you know? And at this point I think the judges are desperate for them to land in the Bottom 3, so they can see Will dance with someone else.

Their second dance was a "lyrical jazz" routine...whatever the hell lyrical jazz is compared to, say contemporary. Anyone care to educate me...sometimes I really think they just make these designations up, don't you? Personally I was enjoying the eye candy on last night's show. Will and particularly Twitch were put on full display in all their six-packed wonder, and I was not complaining. They actually should have called this style "lyrical jazz sex", because it was rated R. I will say it's the best jessica has ever ever been, so props to her for stepping it up a notch. I just wish they'd all stop critiquing her self-confidence and critique her actual dancing!

Bottom line: Like I said, I can see what the judges want. I'm just not sure the voters are willing to oblige. I would. I would totally oblige.

Couple #2: Comfort & Thayne

Their first number was a Broadway number from West Side Story. I think this was the most I've ever liked Thayne, mostly because he had to look all serious and couldn't bust out his cheesy smile. Comfort did her best but seemed a bit uncomfortable. Mostly, I think it's a tough situation to have someone out there trying to re-choreograph iconic Jerome Robbins Broadway numbers set to thrilling Leonard Bernstein music. both of these numbers, in their original form, were examples of what Robbins did best: Choreograph for men. Robbins had a way of creating choreography that was utterly masculine and tremendously exciting. Good thing, since Bernstein's music is muscular and full of explosive moments. Did this new Broadway choreographer (Andy) capture the essence of Bernstein's music or pay proper homage to Robbins' original masterworks? Not by a long shot. There were amazing, percussive musical moments accompanied by smooth, swift and not particularly powerful movements. Turning this into a dance about sexual tension may have been a tiny reason they weren't hitting the levels and intensity the judges were looking for. This number is about life and death kind of tension, not sexual tension. In the original musical Riff and Bernardo have just died, and the gang...really a bunch of barely-post-pubescent high school tough guys...don't know how to deal with what they have just seen. Did you get any of that drama from this routine? Didn't think so. Does highlight a downfall of this show: They spend so much time dancing in heterosexual couples, and 90% of the routines end up being about the "couple." There are other things to move one to dance in life, you know?

Their second dance was the Smooth Waltz. Thing is: at some point the judges are right that we have to stop talking about Comfort's "potential." This has many moments of elegance, including a surprising level of grace and flexibility and extension from Comfort, but I'm not sure it had the sweeping overall flow and fluidity that would have made it a totally winning routine. And Thayne was just there. Which is, I guess, normal for this style, but it was too much of not enough for my taste.

Bottom line: The judges clearly want them in the Bottom 3, and I think we will all oblige.

Couple #3: Kortni & Matt

Their first number was a Hip-hop routine, and since hip-hop apparently has genres now, I believe this was lyrical hip-hop or something like that. I actually really liked this. I like the easy, smooth groove that they achieved. I thought Matt did better than Kortni, but I enjoyed watching it, and I thought it was actually quite beautiful and romantic. Yes, it was a little upright, and I suppose there were moments that could have looked a bit more like the hip-hop we're used to (i.e. sharp, hard-hitting) but I don't get why they go on and on extolling the evolution of hip-hop to include so many styles now, and then the only criticism they reliably pull out of their bag is that a routine isn't sharp enough or hard-hitting enough. Seemed to me this wasn't choreographed to be sharp and hard-hitting, no? i particularly think they've been way harder on Matt all season than he deserved, but that's just me.

Their second dance was the Mambo

The judges did nail it on this one. Sure, they executed the steps and made this fun and frothy...but where was that earthy, sultry, Latin feel? Nowhere. They didn't have great chemistry; they didn't have heat; they had properly executed choreography. End of story. Unfortunately.

Bottom line: The judges clearly want them in the Bottom 3, and I think we will all oblige. In fact I think they'll be heading home.

Couple #4: Chelsea and Mark

And here started the string of couples that the judges clearly are rooting for, starting with this odd couple that has turned out to be anything but. Their first number was a Jazz routine (that again seemed pretty much like Contemporary to me.) Despite the judges' ravings, this was only OK for me. To the point that I can't even remember it, thinking back. My notes say that Mark seemed a bit closed off, and that the number was all about her to an unbalanced degree. I cannot picture in my mind a single thing about this routine, not even what they were wearing...and that tells me one thing: It was mediocre. No matter how much the judges raved!

Their second dance was the Foxtrot. This wasn't Mark's night, IMHO. Like Thayne in the Smooth Waltz, he was just kinda there. He had a few moments away from the partnering where he got to do his own thing and shone, but he seemed to disappear once they were partnering. Again: too much so. To a distracting degree. She's lovely, but without someone featuring and supporting her in a sparkling way, she didn't have as far too reach. She could have been even better, I think.

Bottom line: Frankly, I wasn't thrilled with their evening, but I don't think the voters will agree with me.

Couple #5: Kherington & Twitch

Their first number was the Paso Doble. And I got distracted from Twitch in leather pants and just an open vest just long enough to notice the whole opening cape sequence was off, unsynchronized, sloppy, you name it. Did I care? Huh, what? Seriously, the costumers were just trying to dazzle us with abs last night. Works for me. I have nothing constructive or mature to say.

Their second dance was a Mia Michaels contemporary piece, and come on people: Some time you are going to have to find it somewhere within you to observe when Mia doesn't do her usual top job, and you will have to have the courage to admit it. The first step is admitting it. This was a bunch of flopping and jumping on an angled bed. That is all. Where was the dancing? Where was the variety of movement and emotion? Where were the levels? Oh, sorry, the levels were I'm standing next to the bed, or I'm flopping on the bed...see, levels. Yes, theya re pretty pretty people, and yes, Twitch's abs never grow old. But this number grew old on me, and in this particular case the choreographing empress had no clothes. Is it just ME?

Bottom line: My ranting aside, they are so safe.

Couple #6: Katee & Joshua

Their first number was a Mia Michaels contemporary piece. And not my favorite one she has ever done. I didn't get the story to be honest. It was all harsh and dark, but still very coupled...lots of romantic physicality with conflicting emotional anguish. That being said...some very cool movements that almost emulated anime style movement. It was well-executed, Joshua really rose to the occasion, and despite not knowing what this was about, their intensity level made it compelling,

Their second dance was a West Coast swing, choreographed by Benjy Schwimmer (yay!) While Joshue always steps up and delivers drama when he's asked to, Katee is way better at drama and can't ever really step up to meet joshua when fun and sparkle and mad energy is called for. He's just got that infamous "it", and she does not. What she does have is tremendous trust in him...the fearless lifts and leaps they did in both pieces really made them stand out, so all props t her!

Bottom line: Come on, really? Safe.

Couple #7: Courtney & Gev

Their first number was a Hip-hop routine...New York style. Which is apparently so vastly different from whatever style Gev does that he looked like one of those contemporary dancers suddenly thrown in the Hip-hop pool. Courtney way outshone him. He seemed constrained. She seemed joyfully free and really on target. Color me surprised.

Their second number was a Broadway routine from On The Town. Again, Bernstein music, Robbins original choreography floating in my head. Gev actually does clean up and put on a character well, but just like the other Broadway number, this didn't go anywhere, and it wasn't nearly dynamic enough. I was not sold.

Bottom line: Still, the judges seemed to be won over by Courtney and Gev last night. I'm not so sure.

Bottom line for the Bottom 3:

I think the obvious ones are:
Kortni and Matt
Comfort and Thayne

I think the third couple will NOT be Kherington/Twitch or Katee/Joshua (and although I wasn't sold on Chelsea/Mark last night, I think everyone else totally was, so they're probably in this category too.)

My preferred option would be for the third couple to be Jessica and Will, so we can lose Jessica. But it may be Courtney and Gev.

Going home? My guess is Kortni and Matt.

But what did you think?

Is It Time To Tattoo Your Computer?

2008-07-03T10:24:53-05:00

Earlier this week The Ponemon Institute released a study on the number of laptops that are lost in airports each week. That would be 12,000.

The magnitude of that number is simply mindboggling.

While I backup my data, the thought of losing my computer is enough to send me over the edge.

I can't imagine what it would be like to go on a business trip only to discover the laptop you just put through security is either not in your briefcase of in the hands of someone else.

It seems like there are a couple of easy things could greatly reduce the number of left behind computers.

#1 Airports should start allowing us to put some personalized item with our computer as they go through the scanning device.Think shoes. If we had to put our shoes with our laptops chances are we could see an immediate and drastic drop in the number of lost laptops.

But, if for security reasons that is not a possibility..why not

#2 Tattoo Your Laptop. It's already being done by the folks at Etch Design Studios
in Atlanta Georgia--where about 450 laptops are lost each week. Custom painted laptops are also available by smooth-creations.com

Having a tattooed computer would definitely help if it landed in lost and found where there might be hundreds of other computers that look just like yours. If your computer is password protected, how will the folks in Lost and Found identify it anyway?

I did a spot check at my airport -- Twin Cities International --and the folks there told me that 5-6 laptops are left behind every single day. The airport officials say they try to page the people but if they don't come back for them, the laptops end up in lost and found.

Lost and found did not share with me what they do with the laptops, how long they keep them or what percentage are reunited with their rightful owner.

"It is,"says Susan Jayson..Director of Research for The Ponemon Institute, " harder to retrieve a lost computer from an airport than getting a piece of lost luggage returned." While individual airlines control the lost luggage for their passengers there doesn't seem to be any real process for helping travelers get their computers.

Technolgoic Logic writes,

Please explain to me how, during this process, 10,278 laptops are lost every week at 36 of the largest airports and 2,000 from mid-size airports. (I'm not done. It get's worse.)

"About 77% of people surveyed said they had no hope of recovering a
lost laptop at the airport, with 16% saying they wouldn't do anything if they
lost their laptop during business travel. About 53% said that laptops contain
confidential company information, with 65% taking no steps to protect the
information."

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! If I lost my laptop, (which would never happen because I'm not THAT blonde) I would be calling that airport to the point that they would give me a new computer just to stop calling. (They would probably give me one of the many lost laptops sitting around).

During an interview,Ms.Jayson told me that The Ponemon Insitute decided to conduct the study after the chairman and founder of the Ponemon Institute, Dr. Larry Ponemon, picked up the wrong computer after he had gone through an airport security checkpoint. Fortunately, the real owner of the laptop was right there and alerted him of his mistake.

Not sure what came next, but when it was time to study just how many computers are lost in airports, Dell Computers decided to fund Ponemom's study -- oh and the findings were so substantial that Dell not surprisingly announced this week it is offering up its own solutions to the lost computer problem--a new software for laptop tracking, recovery,and remotely deleting information from a computer.

Dell is partnering with Canadian Software Development Company AbsoluteSoftware which in addition to providing this service to Dell Computers offers the software for individuals as well.

While having the ability to delete data remotely may help, it doesn't mean that sensitive information isn't compromised before the owner realizes the computer is gone.

For that there are now a whole new range of products to encrypt hard drives from the open source on-the fly encryption to bitLocker for Windows Vista Enterprise,Windows Vista Ultimate or Windows Server 2008 computers.

How important is the encryption? Yesterday I was also chatting with some folks from SecureWorks- an information and network security provider about the increase in identify theft. They were interviewed in the recent case that involved hackers breaking into ATM machines and getting access to people's PINs.

While much of the theft occurs by criminals physically altering the ATMS to capture your PIN, they reiterated what many of us know but may think it can't happen to us...that there are malicious trojans specifically designed to get into your hard drive and capture your credit card and banking information.

The folks at SecureWorks also say we should have at least two computers and separate our email computer from the one we do business transactions on.

Okay, so I need to tattoo my computer so no one will mistakenly grab it in the airport secuirty checkpoin, if it does get taken I need a GPS system to track it down and remotely remove all data, and to make sure criminals don't hack into my checking account I need to set up a kosher kitchen of sorts for my computers.

Elana writes about business culture at FunnyBusiness

Do YOU know what's wrong with Jenny?

2008-07-03T10:16:25-05:00

The parents of a 14-year-old quadraplegic say they have NO scientific evidence that HPV vaccine Gardasil caused their daughter's neurological disorder, nor do they want to turn her into "a poster child for any of the many anti-Gardasil campaigns." Instead, they're blogging to try to find other cases like hers to save her life -- girls with pre-existing conditions that may have made them susceptible to a catastrophic reaction to the HPV vaccine.

Check out Jenny's Journey. Do you know anyone with this condition? Does this affect your decision about whether your own daughters will get the HPV vaccine?

Stay Above The Fray.

2008-07-03T10:01:05-05:00

July started off with a bang, astrologically speaking, with Mars changing signs and yesterday's New Moon. What else is coming up this month? The most challenging day of the month looks to be July 10, when two strong aspects form -- Mercury opposing Pluto, and Mars conjunct Saturn. We'll talk more about those aspects later. For now, resolve to stay above the fray until this period passes. The rest of the month should flow much more easily. By the 26th, three planets move into Leo, ushering in a fun party mood. The Moon is in Cancer all day today. There is only one aspect today: Venus opposite Jupiter: Indulgence and excessive behavior are trademarks of this transit, but so are affection and personal warmth. You decide which to focus on! Regards, KT www.TheAstrologer.com

Get your Daily Horoscope:
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Assert Your Independence Day Menu with a New Take on Coleslaw

2008-07-03T09:52:01-05:00

If someone mentions slaw or coleslaw and your food brain immediately thinks cabbage + mayonnaise, maybe you've missed some of the new takes on coleslaw that have been popping up. For summer salad options, coleslaw now includes more possibilities than ever. And since the Fourth of July is tomorrow, here are some versions of coleslaw that will help you assert your Independence Day menu options.

I really love the combination of cabbage and lime so the Lime and Peanut Coleslaw at 101 Cookbooks (pictured above) definitely caught my eye. The delicious-sounding Cilantro Slaw at Andrea's Recipes also has lime juice, and the cilantro plus lime combination is always a winner for cilantro lovers.

Another take on coleslaw that features lime is the Cilantro-Lime Broccoli Slaw from Gluten-Free Bay (pictured below.) This super-easy recipe starts with a broccoli slaw mix that's already pre-cut. The Broccoli Slaw at Dani Spies combines broccoli and napa cabbage in a slaw that's slightly sweetened with agave nectar with a few dried cherries and sunflower seeds tossed in for crunch.

At The Expatriate's Kitchen I found Tangy Kohlrabi Slaw, an interesting take on coleslaw without cabbage that's slightly sweet with a touch of mustard. One non-cabbage slaw that uses ingredients you may not have considered is Asian Slaw at Daily Bread Journal which has Asian pears and celery and a touch of rice vinegar. Another non-cabbage slaw that sounds nutritious and tasty is the Kale Slaw from In a Vegetarian Kitchen.

Plain white cabbage has its fans, but there are all kinds of cabbage varieties that can add extra interest to coleslaw. At The Well Seasoned Cook, Susan uses savoy cabbage in her Confetti Cole Slaw, (pictured above) with some color interest added by chopped red bell pepper and carrots. The Napa Cabbage Picnic Salad at Simply Recipes also sounds like a winner.

Even slaws with traditional cabbage can get a new twist, as The Kitchen Sink proves with Crunchy Coleslaw with Cayenne and Toasted Caraway Seeds. Another interesting slaw variation with cabbage is the Cabbage Slaw with Apples and Cranberries (pictured above) at Sidewalk Shoes. Finally, if you like creamy but don't like mayo, the Creamy Cabbage Slaw at Everybody Like Sandwiches uses sour cream in the dressing.

Okay BlogHer food lovers, now that you've seen all these interesting new takes on coleslaw, how about letting us know in the comments just what your favorite coleslaw variation is?

Kalyn Denny writes about food at BlogHer.com and shares her passion for cooking at Kalyn's Kitchen. This summer Spicy Mexican Slaw with Lime and Cilantro is the coleslaw Kalyn is currently loving the most.

"Because Women's Work is Always Undervalued:" Why Child Care Workers are Some of The Lowest Paid Professionals in America

2008-07-03T08:44:33-05:00

I don't have children, and I do not plan to have any. Yet, in my mind, child care and early childhood education is the most important issue any nation faces. In the United States, we pay a lot of lip service to the importance of child care and early education, recognizing the field as critical to parents' ability to go to work, as a way to prepare young children for school, and as a safe place for older kids to go after school while their parents are at work. In theory, we acknowledge that child care is essential to our economy both directly (as a field of business, it generates jobs and money that buys supplies from other businesses) and indirectly (by allowing parents to work, child care props up an enormous portion of the economy). We realize that children who attend high quality child care programs are less likely to repeat a grade in school, drop out, become teen mothers, or be arrested. What American society refuses to do is properly invest in child care, leading to a dysfunctional industry in which skilled providers are poorly paid, burn out and turn over is absurdly high, and families cannot access the care they need. Of course, this disproportionately affects women, both as consumers (women who want to or need to work) and as providers (98% of early childhood program employees are female).

For the past 10 years, I worked on child care and public policy. The first thing I learned is that anyone who attempts to analyze the industry from a logical economic supply-and-demand model is doomed to get the wrong answers. Megan McArdle at the Atlantic Monthly controversially (and faslely) claims that child care is not a skilled labor. In fact, child care center licensing standards in many states require the lead teacher to hold a BA in early childhood education or be in the process of obtaining a degree. She correctly understands that staffing a center costs a lot of money, and when you add in overhead, the cost of offering high quality child care is more than most parents can afford. (Fight Crime, Invest in Kids reports that the cost of quality infant care is more than tuition at a public university in every single state!) Meaning: the laws of supply and demand do not apply to child care. Many parents in American do not have a choice of whether to work or stay home. Hence the demand for care is high, but the fixed cost of care means that parents cannot afford the supply. This is what economists call a market failure.

In most market failures, subsidies are applied to correct the problem. McArdle rejects subsidies for child care because she says that would drive up the wages of educators of older children. Her fundamental misunderstanding of the child care field as completely unskilled leads to this false dichotomy. (Emily Yoffe wrote an excellent article in Salon about how much skill grossly underpaid child care workers require.) Child care workers are already teachers, often possessing the same educational and training credentials as those who teach elementary school. They deserve the same rate of pay as other teachers. The reality is that subsidies will attract more skilled professionals to the early childhood field, allow more families to send their kids to quality early childhood programs, and cost society significantly less in the long run. (The Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis has done numerous studies on the economic benefits of quality early childhood care and education and concluded that there is as much as $17 in future benefits to be derived from every dollar invested in early childhood programs. Kathy G. at The G Spot summarizes numerous economic studies on the benefits of a variety of early childhood care and education programs.)

So, given the market failure and obvious benefits of quality child care and early education, why isn't investing in young children a priority in the US? Why have I not hear one presidential candidate mention the struggle that working parents face in finding high quality, affordable child care? Laura at 11D said it best:

Also, babysitters are poorly paid, because people think it's easy, because women's work is always undervalued, and because society doesn't want to pay for work that they still think should be freely given. Sometimes you can't understand economics without looking at the politics.

And here's where feminism really fits in. Child care is women's work. (Married, middle-class) Moms are expected to stay home and do the work for free, even as we live in a world in which single parents are common, and even married middle-class families can't make ends meet without both parents working. We see this lack of appreciation for educating young children mirrored in how the child care workforce is composed and paid. A whopping 98% of child care workers are women, and the average salary $17,630. Yoffe points out, "The advocacy group Center for the Child Care Workforce points out that only a handful of the more than 800 occupations surveyed by the BLS have lower wages—these include parking lot attendants and dishwashers." Personally, I also believe that race is an issue as well: more than one-third of child care workers are women of color. If US social policy has treated women's work as a whole as worthless, we have generally treated women of color even worse. This is clearly reflected in the poverty wages we deal out to people who are shaping our children's futures.

By standing up for child care, we are saying that caring and education children - something done nearly exclusively by women and traditionally done either without compensation or with extremely low pay because it is "women's work" - is valuable. Child care (whether done by moms, aunts, grandparents, or paid workers) should not be a female ghetto, populated by poorly paid and disrespected women. We need to stop paying lip service to its importance and start paying dollars.

Suzanne also blogs about life at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants and about positive social change at Just Cause. Her first book, "Off the Beaten (Subway) Track: New York City's Best Unusual Attractions," is hitting bookshelves in July.